i’ve been without beef now for nearly two weeks. i believe i’m suffering from withdrawl. i’m a big beef eater and with the mad cow scare i’ve decided that i want to stay away from beef for a little while.

i am rapidly approaching the longest time i’ve ever gone without beef. back when i was growing up, i would say that the longest stretch of time i went without beef would be no longer than a day…my sandwiches or dinner usually had some kind of beef in it, or at the very least some kind of meat.

i think that i’ve been craving beef lately though. when i go to nations, i order the chicken sandwich. for dinner, when i went to mcdonald’s i almost had the #1 combo. the big mac looked so enticing. oh, everything about it looked so enticing…so delightful…so inviting. and when that mysterious, choppy voice asked me what i wanted, i couldn’t speak for a moment.

my stomach was yearning for the big mac. just eat it. it’ll taste SO GOOD. but i yielded. instead i got the chicken combo. i really feel that i’m all chickened out.

today for lunch we had pizza from round table. the combo that i was eating had meat on it and it tasted so good. but before i started devouring the pizza, the first thought i had was, “is there any beef in it?” it’s aggravating.

i don’t know what pepperoni is made out of, but the guys assured me it was some kind of mystery pork product. so i guess it’s all safe.

i wonder how much longer i can last. i know that i’ll never be able to cut it as a vegetarian. i just love meat too much.

today marks the first day of the 2004 volleyball season for me. i’m looking forward to it, but i’m sure that i really suck now. it’s been so long since i last touched a volleyball that i’m quite afraid of what it’s going to be like. my only comfort is that hopefully everyone else is the same way and that we’ll all suck together.

yes, team suckage is ok.

can a thought be too short as to not qualify as blog-worthy?

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while we all tread furiously to keep our head above water, we sometimes meet new challenges that seem to overwhelm us. when experiencing a new challenge for the first time, it definitely can seem like an insurmountable task. the pains that we go through the very first time can cut deeper than we’ve ever felt.

life is not kind. it is not mean or cruel, it just is. but when we encouter that rough spot for the first time, this flood of despair and pain overwhelms us in a way we’ve never felt before. it’s easy to become immediately cynical, bitter, and resentful of the world. it’s easy to be lost in the overwhelming sea of emotion.

we all come across these difficult times. i guess the only salvation one can have is knowing that regardless of how dark times may look now, others have tread in the same waters and have survived to find happiness themselves. if they have found their way, so shall you.

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