easily affected

the thing about me is that i try very hard to have thick skin. i try not to let other people get to me, regardless of what they may say. i think that i’ve gotten particularly good at this in the professional sense. if someone were to come up to me and professionally berate me for doing something wrong or messing up or just yelling at me because they can, well, it doesn’t really bother me anymore. it’s a lot easier for me to let those troubles go.

but i am still very easily affected when it comes to things of a more personal nature. i remember there was this one time someone had said something i feel is completely untrue about me to a friend of mine and they didn’t stick up for me. they didn’t defend me, instead they just sat there. at first i was outraged because my friend didn’t stand up for me, but then i realized that the reason that they probably didn’t defend me is because they felt it was true. that shook me up for a few days. i was crushed. i couldn’t believe that a friend of mine could believe it…i thought that they knew me better than that.

and it got me thinking that maybe that’s the way that a lot of people perceive me to be. it’s sad because i really felt that they knew me better than that…or what’s worse is that it made me sad because that’s what their opinion of me was.

i try not to be easily affected by what other people think of me, and to a great degree i feel like i can do it…but every so often i’ll hear something and it’ll really affect me deeply to the point where it’s hard to think clearly.

the moment will pass, as it always does, i’m just waiting for it to come to pass.

It doesn’t take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.


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