he’s her lobster

the number one viewer’s choice episode of friends is the one with the lobster where rachel learns that ross was got all dressed up so that she wouldn’t miss her high school prom when her date appeared to be a no show. i have to say that is definitely one of my most favorite episodes of friends as well.

i’ve always loved the idea of one true love. the kind of love that lasts forever and ever: without question, without hesitation, without limits. one of the reasons why i loved friends so much is because of the ross/rachel dynamic. the two were meant for each other, and the show played on the struggles that they went through to find each other and make it work.

i suspect that the show is going to end where ross and rachel end up living together and raising emma. it seems a little manufactured and a little unrealistic, but it is a nice ending.

i just watched this other episode of friends (the one with the list) where ross makes a list detailing why he should or should not be with rachel. there was one moment that seemed to sum it all up. when finding reasons for why he should not date julie, his biggest reason was “she’s not rachel.”

that just speaks volumes to the kind of love he has for her. and when he finally tells her that he broke up with julie to be with her, he simply says, “it’s always been you, rach.” it’s just one of those moments where everything in the world seems to come together and make sense. just briefly, all is well with the world.

those are the moments that i think we all live for.

12 thoughts on “he’s her lobster”

  1. No, no, I think you have misunderstood me. There is no sarcasm. I truly applaud wilco’s ability to believe in one true love. In this world of cynicism, it is hard to maintain such an ideal when confronted with all the pessimism and disappointments. Love is a funny thing. It’s really interesting to see what people will do when they are in love, the sacrifices they make, the changes they’ll undergo, the things they will say. It’s amazing how much they will tolerate and endure, because they believe in their true love. I’m sure they are plain foolish fools in love. It’s absolutely inexplicable. That is why I think it will take its natural course. If it’s meant to be then it will be… if it’s not then there is nothing that can be done.

    True love probably does exist in some form, but I think it is determined retrospectively, not prospectively. You’ll never see it coming, but you’ll see it when you turn around.

  2. I can feel you’re oozing with sarcasm LD. the fact to the matter is that some people think there’s one true love out there waiting for them. there are some that believe whoever they’re with could be their one true love…until things grow sour. and then there’s the pessimistic me who thinks true love is overrated. when you give yourself expectation, you’re more likely to get disappointed. if you’re with someone who degrades your values and violates your trust, do you continue to forgive them just because you believe they’re your one true love due of some glorified moments you’ve shared? how you handle the matter exemplifies your characteristic…are you a fool in love or just a plain fool?

  3. Seriously, it’s television! But all lack of realism aside, as much as you think that things are sacred, as much as you think something perfect can’t be touched, mistakes always happen and things always change. Willco’s right, nothing comes in nice neat pieces. Nothing is forever. Nothing is perfect. There are couples that come back together again and again despite the mistakes and survive. There are couples that fall apart for seemingly insignificant reasons. Many times there are no explanations as to why two people are together, even though they shouldn’t. Real life is for learning. So you might as well sit down and indulge in TV where exactly what you hope will happen happens.

    I’m glad your belief in true love hasn’t wavered. You’ll have to write a book on how that is possible.

  4. uhh…I don’t mean to pop people’s transcendent bubble but it started off with Ross sleeping with someone else when he and Rachel were on their 1-day “break” (mistake #1) then they got married because they were plastered during their stay in Vegas and did something incredibly stupid–nevermind that they hated each other’s guts before then (mistake #1). and then that baby was a result of a one night stand (mistake #2…but it worked out fine because this is television and everything always works out). and finally, Ross accepting Rachel dating his close friend Joey. (mistake #3…like come on, what friend is okay with that?). that pretty much sums up to whatever that was sacred was pretty much flushed down the drain. makes you wonder what happened to their pride and priorities. but I digress, couples who can live through mistakes after mistakes probably deserve to be together.

  5. i think that i still believe in the idea of one true love.

    i don’t think that 1 mistake will necessarily destroy everything and if things really were meant to be, they’d find a way to work themselves out. life isn’t about being perfect and having everything work itself out in nice, neat little pieces.

    yes, i agree that life is an ever-evolving process and that you do make mistakes, learn from them, and grow.

  6. Do you still believe in one true love?

    On the shellfish, can one mistake destroy everything? Obviously not, since they have gotten married, divorced, and had a baby since breaking up. Despite that mistake, they keep coming back to each other… and I predict right now that they will end up together. True, this is tv and anything can happen. Pragmatically speaking, mistakes are a part of nature. They happen, you learn, and you grow. Idealistically speaking, if you are meant to be together, you will end up together, mistakes and all.

    Nothing can be forced…. nature has its course.

  7. i don’t think that having such a moment is a guarantee for having a successful, lasting relationship. but i think that it is something that i do hope for because having that kind of love for another is truly one of the most wonderful things one can have. i don’t even think that it’s a prerequisite for a successful relationship, but it sure is nice if you’ve got it.

    and yes, life is full of obstacles and disappointment, and yes, you can’t delude yourself into thinking that the perfect moment will eventually present itself and you should hold out until you have such a moment…but, i don’t think that means that you should just cast away any hope for such a blissful moment. i mean, if we all stop looking for that blissful moment, what do we end up looking for?

    it reminds me of an ally mcbeal episode where this one guy was with a girl, but he fell for ally instead. ally wasn’t interested, but the guy felt he had to try. the girl that was left behind was upset at ally because she said that not all people can go after the love of their lives and some people just get what they are given and have to be content with that because they’ll never get anything more.

    i guess that episode made me sad because it taints the romantic idea of finding that one true love.

  8. I think everyone has one of those moments in one form or another. but do those moments guarantee you everlasting love or eternal happiness? Ross and Rachel are no longer together. they had their moments and because of one heinous mistake, those precious moments were lost and forgotten. I guess some things are just unforgivable.

  9. Is there enough hope to keep us going on despite the constant obstacles and disappointments? There’s reality and there is ideality….

  10. i think it’s a sad reality that not all of us will ever find those moments. but just because we aren’t guaranteed those moments doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t strive to seek them out. without hope of something better to reach for, there’s no reason to go on.

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