“sometimes, you love so deeply and passionately to the point that there is nothing left in you anymore. it is never that easy. it takes luck and timing and a lot of bruising and scarring, before one truly finds what they are looking for…. if they do.”
the human heart is an amazing evolution. not only does it tirelessly work day in and day out without rest, but it is remarkably resilient when it comes to love.
i do believe that you can love someone so deeply that your love for them becomes all-consuming. i do believe that you can feel so passionately about someone that they mean everything in the world to you and there is nothing that you would not do for them. i do believe that you can give all your heart to another and leave room for nothing else to love. i do believe that this kind of unconditional love exists.
and sometimes, for whatever reason, this person who you love so much, this person who means everything to you is taken away from your life. it is never easy to pick up the pieces and just try to move on. that’s why they call it a broken heart. shattered into a million pieces, i’m sure that it is very easy to believe that you could never love again.
some people drift and wander aimlessly after they’ve had their heart broken. some people can’t seem to find their way back, to trust again because they either cannot accept what has happened to them or they cannoy accept the risks associated with trusting their heart to another.
there is no guarantee that you will ever find that person who you are destined to be with. let’s be realistic now, it’s true. not everybody lives that fairytale love story. it just doesn’t happen like that. thats why they are called fairytales to begin with. we come up with these perfect little stories to tell children to inspire them to greatness. we give them something to reach for. we would never want to jade them into cynicism.
but for those who have had their heart broken, i can only offer you this advice: get over it. i know it might sound a little callous, and i’m sure i can phrase it more nicely, but that’s the gist of it. yeah, your heart was broken. yeah, it sucks. yeah, i know, i’ve been there before. so sure, it’s scary to go out and try and find someone else who you can have that kind of relationship with again. it’s scary to think that you would want to subject yourself to this kind of pain again. it’s scary enough that some people may never want to face it again.
and that’s fine. that’s your prerogative. in everything, there is a certain amount of risk involved. after doing some risk analysis, if you feel that it isn’t worth it, then don’t do it. but i’ve always been a champion of love and i will argue to the grave that love is worth it. i will argue that love is all you need.
i never said it was easy. i never said that if you work hard you will be rewarded. but what i can guarantee you is that if you do not make the effort, then you will never have a chance.
so what made you write this? perhaps a friend who’s going through something similar?
there are often so many sides of any story that it would be unfair to make sweeping generalizations like “get over it”, “stop dwelling on the past”, “just move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea”, or “if it’s not worth it to you, just stop trying”.
that last one is a bit of a catch 22 because being loved and wanting to be loved is something that is innate to us all even if we’ve never experienced it. you can’t just turn that biological instinct off. but if all you’ve known in life is what it’s like to suffer the consequences without ever knowing what it’s like to be loved by someone then it’s hard to justify why it’s even worth it. either way, you get hurt.
some time ago, i just stopped trying because all i ever experienced was pain. but that didn’t keep someone from coming into my life and finding a way to inflict even more damage. although i was attracted to her, i didn’t want to get into a relationship. but over time, we became good friends and i felt pressured to reciprocate in kind. then all of a sudden, it just ended. not even a relationship but a friendship that i had become emotionally attached to. and that’s what really hurts – when you have your arm twisted by someone to trust them and they betray you.
it is, as you put it “the games people play”.
way I see it, when you’re in love, every feeling is intensified. everyone think their love is unique, special, and all consuming. and it’s quite devastating when that feeling is gone. there are some people who have problems letting go. they keep looking back at the past and live their lives not seeing the present or the future. they’re trapped in their decadent misery.
don’t look back. if the love was lost then maybe it wasn’t meant to be. if it wants to be found, it will find you—not the other way around. always thinking of the “what ifs†and dwelling on past mistakes and lost love will only bring frustration and bitterness.
It’s no wonder that a champion of love can have such strength of heart and willingness to open themself up again and again. If someone could make me believe as profoundly as you do, that all this stuff is worth it…. they’d be a loaded! Loaded with my love, that is. *wink*