exes and friends

i’ve been thinking lately about relationships, past, present, and future. i have always sort of thought that there would be some exes of mine that i can totally see being friends with. we have this shared past and a great connection and why wouldn’t we make good friends? especially if we have gotten over whatever hurdles we couldn’t overcome in our relationship? it should be easy to step back into a friendship, right?

so i was talking to a friend of mine today and she was telling me that maybe my expectations of what kind of friend i can be with my ex is unrealistic. that the kind of friendship that i have with an ex cannot be nearly as close as that with my other friends because of the history that we have had. i was going to protest and argue the other way, but then i started thinking about girls that i’ve dated and what kind of friends that we are now.

it makes me sad because i think that there are some exes that i can really be good friends with. i’m not sure if it is because we’ve gotten busy in our own lives or if we have just drifted apart or what, but we really aren’t the kind of friends that i think we could be.

and maybe that’s what i need to do is change my expectation level of what kind of friends i can be with my ex. maybe we really can’t be all that close, after all. is that really the case?

4 thoughts on “exes and friends”

  1. I think if you can manage to salvage a meaningful friendship with your ex, it not only speaks volumes but I think it’s one of those relationships that should be treasured. It happens so rarely which only shows how special it is when it finally happens.

  2. I think you can be friends with your ex, but not “close” friends. You guys broke up for a reason and every break-up, regardless if it’s a good one, there is still an indifference. Personally, I am still friends with some of my exes, but I don’t expect to be “close” friends with them.

  3. You can be friends, even close friends once both parties are being truthful to each other as to the real nature of their association.

  4. The foundation upon which the relationship
    was built in many ways determines the extent to which exes can maintain a close friendship.

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