a long time ago

after reading the x-gf’s latest entry about a memory long past, it made me recall something from my past.

i was at the bart station, ready to drop off my girlfriend. she was not prepared to leave the car and did not want me to go. i had made plans weeks in advance that evening to go watch a depeche mode concert with some friends. she was not interested in going.

she was insistent that we spend more time together, to talk some things through. the tickets that i had for the concert were back at home, i had to go home first, pick them up, and give them to my friends who were going with me.

she made an ultimatum: stay with her or go to the concert and leave her forever. there were many times in that relationship where she made me choose her or my friends.

it was the last depeche mode concert ever worth going to.

but i had decided to stay with her.

i called my friends and told them where the tickets were, to pick them up, and i would try to meet them later if i could.

i never did.

hindsight always gives you such a wonderful perspective. i learned a lesson from that day. ultimatums are just not good and if i ever get into a situation where someone has to lay down that kind of an ultimatum, it makes you really think about what led you down to that path.

3 thoughts on “a long time ago”

  1. hmm…if plans were made in advance and especially if there were other people involved in this plan…to me, an ultimatum like that is a sign of selfishness.

  2. yeah, i know…it was a long time ago and i didn’t know any better. you learn a lot about yourself, the kind of person you want to be, and the kind of person that you want to be with after experiences like this.

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