tuesday is too much

i’m pretty upset at myself for how completely wildly my mood has been swinging lately. one moment i’m peachy keen, the next i’m dreadfully depressed, and the next i’m just confused about how i really should feel.

when i get like this, i think what eventually happens is that i just stop feeling. i’ve always advocated living life to its fullest, to experience the highest of highs, even at the cost of feeling the lowest of lows, too. but when i am swinging downwards, i always wonder to myself if maybe it was better that i just not feel at all. it certainly seems more pleasant.

my mat cutter is coming in today. i’ve ordered 100 blades to come with my mat cutter. i hear that you only get about 5 mats per blade so the couple that came didn’t really seem like enough. i guess i should run over to aaron brothers today and grab some mats to try out the mat cutter. now…if only i had some pictures that i wanted to mat, it’d make things much easier…

a pain that i’m used to

A Pain That I’m Used To
-Depeche Mode

I’m not sure what I’m looking for anymore
I just know that I’m harder to console
I don’t see who I’m trying to be instead of me
But the key is a question of control

Can you say what you’re trying to play anyway
I just pay while you’re breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive that is fueled

All this running around, well it’s getting me down
Just give me a pain that I’m used to
I don’t need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

There’s a hole in your soul like an animal
With no conscience, repentance, oh no
Close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise
Devils feed on the seeds of the soul

I can’t conceal what I feel, what I know is real
No mistaking the faking, I care
With a prayer in the air I will leave it there
On a note full of hope not despair

All this running around, well it’s getting me down
Just give me a pain that I’m used to
I don’t need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

All this running around, well it’s getting me down
Just give me a pain that I’m used to
I don’t need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true