i was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and she said something to me that i thought was pretty hilarious. we were talking about how when it comes to affairs of the heart logic and reason don’t really seem to have much of a role when we make our decisions.

i know this from experience because i’ve made decisions in the past where i knew that it was a bad idea to be doing something, but i still did it anyway because…well, my heart wouldn’t let me do any other thing.

and so i was lamenting and telling her about how one would think that after going through those experiences that you would learn from your mistakes and that you would not repeat them. if you know that pursuing a relationship with someone is not a good idea, you’d recognize that it wasn’t a good idea and you would not go through with it. one would think… i was telling her about how i’m currently contemplating whether or not to try the whole online dating thing. in some ways i still feel that there’s a bit of a stigma there, but in other ways i sort of feel like i’ve done that before and it didn’t really work out so well so maybe i shouldn’t really think too much about it.

my friend said to me, “you know, you never hear about what a smart decision they made when they were in love. you always hear about how stupid they were and how stupid love makes you.”

and it is true. you never do hear about how smart you are when you are in love because love just isn’t smart. it isn’t dumb, either, rather i think it’s more all-encompassing. it just sucks you up and consumes you. your mind gets filled with thoughts of that other person and no matter how hard you try and not think about them the opposite happens and your thoughts always wander back to them. this is infatuation at its greatest.

and once infatuation sets in…it’s hard to think straight.

yesterday was not a very good day for me. with my ailing health, i swear, sometimes i feel like i’m 80 years old. i had some severe back problems which prevented me from doing any kind of work so after having spent an hour getting to work and toughing through two of the most grueling hours of my life, i called it quits and went home.

traffic was outrageously bad so after i hit milpitas i went to a starbucks to get online and see if trang and shirley had woken up yet so i could bum at their place. by the time i finally managed to get online i saw that they had already left for the day so i decided to bum around in milpitas for a little bit waiting for the traffic to die down.

finally got home to find that the cable was out which was the final blow to an already trying day. slept for most of the day, through lunch and woke up around 5. ordered pizza for dinner, but wasn’t able to eat too much. after i got some food in me, though, i was much happier, my headache had cleared, and the cable was back on.

i relaxed for the rest of the day, mostly in bed nursing my back. it finally felt better and now i’m at work again. i think that sitting for long times actually aggravates my back, so i am taking frequent breaks and little walks to the kitchen at work.

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i forgot to mention all of the volleyball craziness that has been happening lately. my monday night team captain accidentally registered us for wednesday nights instead of monday nights this season. apparently there was some confusion about how check boxes work and we got registered for the wrong night. but our team was able to play that night so we’re now playing on wednesday nights!

as a result, i picked up another team on monday nights. we played last monday and it was a lot of fun. hopefully it’ll continue to be this fun throughout the season, but from what i saw there were a lot of teams that were better this season, so we’ll see how we fare. we did manage to win all four games, though, so that was good. there is another strong hitter and two good setters on this team so i look forward to playing more.

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shirley’s back from her month long vacation. i picked her up from the airport and took her back home. after returning johnny, trang, carolyn, shirley, and i hit korea house for some dinner. it was good, but i wasn’t particularly hungry so i didn’t end up eating much.

after dinner we retired back to shirley’s where i proceeded to tinker with her broken laptop. let me just say that i have absolutely no clue how to troubleshoot a mac so this was a bit of an exercise in what seemed like futility.

i found a few knowledge base articles to help step me through the process. who would have thought that holding down various keys would boot the mac into different modes? command, option, P, and R to reset the PRAM or something? what the?! ok…

very different from the PC. after about an hour of tinkering with it, though, i finally was able to get it back up and running. i’d try and explain what i did to fix it, but i’m not totally sure i know, so we’ll just say that i did stuff and it got fixed.

there was a moment in tonight’s conversation where i was reminded that i do not enjoy geeking out when i’m surrounded by people who are also non-techies. i don’t know…i don’t particularly care to alienate anyone when i’m in mixed company like that. so usually when something like that happens i generally tend to play dumb and pretend that i don’t really know what’s going on.

all in all it was a good day. i can’t wait for the rest of the week to come to a close. big weekend coming up…hope it’ll be fun.

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that’s the big question of the day…

well, i have been slaving away on this new project. it’s an interesting project of sorts, but is driving me a little crazy. still trying to understand other people’s code so i can pick it up and start extending it. but enough work talk.

today is the big day that my dear friend comes back from vacation. not really sure what the plan is for tonight, but i think that korea house is involved somewhere. mmmmm. korea house.

my back is still a little achy, i may have to go down to our admin’s desk and ask for some medicine to ease my woes. lunch time is near, but i got into work pretty late today so though lunch time usually marks the ending of my day such is not the case today. i’ll be here until 5pm.

it seems so long and far away. i’m not sure if i’ll be able to manage. but i do think that i will be making my way over to get some egg custard tarts later today. 3 for a $1. how can you beat that?

sometimes she’s so cute that when i gaze upon her a little bit of me dies inside.

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i was talking to john the other day and i was telling him that i’m beginning to appreciate tri-tip more and more these days. it took me a while to really like this cut of meat. i’ve always been pretty partial to new york steak and i think that it may be one of my favorite cuts of meat. but more recently, i’m beginning to discover the joy of tri-tip and it is good.

a lot of it has to deal with making sure that you cut it the right way. who knew? but anyway, i was telling john that we should have dinner and eat some meat. “let’s meat!” i told him.

[url=http://www.track15.com]dardy[/url] told me that he wanted to get together before leaving for his big italy trip so i decided to make dinner and have some people over. [url=http://www.phamily.org]paul[/url], [url=http://leafee.ocliw.com]leeya[/url], mike, john, greg, trang, [url=http://www.mycgiserver.com/~lilplaytime/weblog/]ray[/url], dardy, mia, and i had dinner. in honor of meating, i made 5 filets of cajun catfish, 3 tri-tips, 1 rack of ribs, 6 ears of corn, roasted vegetables, and two loaves of garlic bread.

we gorged…but still had leftovers. go figure.

mmmm, good food, though. it’s been a while since i had a big group of people over. it was a nice change.

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Someone Like Me
-Atomic Kitten

Don’t let your head rule your heart
Don’t let your world be torn apart
Don’t keep it all to yourself
Just let all your emotions free
With someone like me
That’s they way it should be
Someone like me

I know it’s hard
When your feelin’ down
To lift your feet up off the ground
We make mistakes
But doesn’t everybody
You don’t always have
To agree with someone like me
That’s the way it should be
Someone like me

We know the story so far
(What you want and who you are)
What you want and who you are (free)
Let all you emotions run free
You don’t always have to agree
With someone like me
That’s the way it should be
Someone like me
Someone like me

—–

love?
love.
above all things i believe in love.
love is like oxygen.
love is a many splendid thing.
love lifts us up where we belong.
all you need is love.

=========================================

i’m a sap, i know.

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yeah…i’m thinking about it. it isn’t something that i really have put a lot of thought into, but i hear more and more people doing it and having good results. but i still have reservations…

but you know, as i read these profiles it definitely makes me wonder. just how many of these are completely honest? i mean you never see:

“SAF seeking hot SAM who does not mind needy, dependent women interested in gold digging.”

i think that things would be much more entertaining if people were completely honest like that.

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