it was about this time, i think two years ago, when i was on the brink of pursuing this one girl. all seemed well enough and i was beginning to develop an interest in her. it seemed that things were mutual, and just as i was about to make my move, i found out that she had made plans already to visit this guy. the plans were already in the works weeks prior to me ever meeting her.

this ordinarily would not have been a big deal, however, it turns out that this meeting that she had with this guy was romantic in nature. in fact, it seemed that there would be some booty calling to be had.

but she completely ok with this and attempting to start something with me.

i could not believe it.

yeah, i’m going to go over there and meet up with this guy and we’re probably going to hook up. but once i’m done with him, i’d like to hang out with you again, if that’s cool. you know…that sort of thing.

and that’s when i realized that she just wanted to play around. i definitely did not want my heart strings to be toyed with and decided to quickly distance myself from her. i don’t think much about it anymore, but today i was reminded of this story for some strange reason.

i’m glad that i made the decision that i did and if i had to make it all over again, i would do the same. the only thing i regret is that i lost out on what could have been a good friend. we’ve lost touch since then and i haven’t seen her in quite some time.

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sadly, i’m at work today. it’s hard working when virtually EVERYONE no one else is at the office. is that cause for concern? not really. it is probably one of the most vacationed away days in the year, after all.

but i am actually getting some work done, surprisingly. go figure, eh?

what’s surpising even more is that there are some people who are answering support calls today. i’ve made several inquiries about some products and all of my questions were promptly answered.

merry christmas!

and a happy birthday to jason all the way over in china!

i remember when i couldn’t wait until christmas day. i would count down the days and jump with joy waiting for the inevitable day to arrive. on christmas eve i would beg and plead with my parents to let me open a gift or two…or all of them. i would get so excited about santa coming over that i wouldn’t be able to sleep.

when i finally was able to go to sleep, i would wake up extra early so that i could open up presents. on a normal school day, it was all that my mom could do to get me up and out of bed by 8pm. on a normal weekend, i’d sleep until 10. but on christmas day i’d be up at 5:30 and i’d be tugging my dad’s arm trying to wake him up so we could open presents.

good times.

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i never really enjoyed opening gifts in front of other people. the only exception i would make is the christmas gift opening with the family. i don’t like opening gifts in front of other people because they are always watching you with hawk eye intensity trying to gauge how much you like their gift.

so then there’s already a bit of pressure for you to like the gift. now i don’t really care if i get gifts or what gifts i get from people, it really is the thought that counts. and so i will always appreciate the thought…if not the gift. =P

i don’t think it’s rude to open gifts in front of each other, though.

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i went to bed, bath, and beyond today after a tip from paul who said that he saw poker chips being sold there. it turns out that they are of the cheaper variety and i didn’t get a very good feeling of them while i was playing with the store model.

they also had a poker table top for sale. a table, complete with individual chip racks, for eight people was merrily on sale as well. i was tempted, but i wasn’t sure where i would put the thing in my apartment anyway….besides, i still have to make room for the foosball table i want somewhere.

what i noticed at bed, bath, and beyond though was the cashier. he seemed like a rather unhappy fellow who was there in body, but certainly not in spirit. after i purchased my items, he wished my goodbye with these parting words, “have a holiday.”

not “have a happy holiday”, but “have a holiday.” in a complete monotone voice. without cracking a smile. he just said it very matter of factly.

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i’ve heard a few times over about the painful memories that some people have when it comes to their ex’s. they lament about how tragic it is and they focus on the negative. they don’t understand why things have taken such a wretched turn and they believe the world will never be as good. these are the people who are still entrenched in the pains of loss. they remember all of the good, yet conveniently forget all of the bad.

and then people believe, particularly in long term relationships, that everything that they went through was a waste. a waste of time, a waste of energy, and a waste of effort. everything that they had done was for nothing.

i know this because i went through it.

i know that it doesn’t seem like much, but things do get better. everyone is so goal-focused these days, it’s a wonder anybody actually enjoys life for what it is. a large part of life is not about getting “it” right. it’s about the journey.

the journey of life is what builds our character and is what ultimately makes us who we are. we may have to fall and stumble a little bit here and there, sometimes we have to plunge deep into the abyss of depression. but when we emerge from the hardships that life has thrown at us, we come out stronger and more able to cope with whatever life throws at us.

many people lose sight of the journey. we get too caught up keeping up with the jones that we forget that we have our own paths to forge. it’s during the christmas season that i always remember that life is about the journey as i reflect about this past year and where i’ve come.

for those of you who find this time of the year painful for whatever reason, try to take comfort that you are not alone. there are those who have pained like you have, who have cried those same tears that you cry and they have persevered.

endless vigilance must be kept for the good. it’s out there waiting to be found.

i woke up at 6:20am this morning. it was by intention, not mischance. why? i’m going to the [url=http://www.nba.com/games/20031223/LALGSW/preview.html]warriors (12-13) game[/url] tonight where they are pitted against the pitiful lakers (20-5 eep!). i’m going with three lakers fans, so i think that i may have to cheer extra loud.

i had to go into work early today because i hitched a ride from paul who gets into work at insanely early hours.

but the lakers will be without karl malone unfortunately…because in his old age, he hurt himself last sunday. go figure that in his 18+ year career he’s only missed 11 games and today will make his 12th. grrrr.

the lakers have won 10 of their last 14 games against the warriors which means it’s about time that the warriors step it up and beat some laker butt. it’s not that i don’t like the lakers, but you GOTTA root for the home team, you know? unless, of course, they are playing the kings…if that’s the case, all bets are off and the kings are going to have to win.

the warriors are in a 3 way tie for 3rd place in their division. i think this is going to put them at .500.

go warriors!

—–

we went to have indian buffet today for lunch. man…i am so full it hurts right now. i don’t know why i feel compelled to stuff myself silly whenever i go to a buffet place. i’m so full now it hurts just sitting and typing. and this happens every time. you’d think that i’d learn by now and i wouldn’t go for that last plate of food, but no. you’d think that i’d learn by now and i wouldn’t force myself to finish everything on that last plate of food, but no.

common sense seems to fly out the window whenever i set foot in a buffet restaurant. why, oh why, am i inflicted with this temporary food stupidity? i don’t know, but i’m paying for it now.

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i am a procrastinator. that’s just the way that i am. i’ve never been able to plan out far in advance and usually i end up choosing to cram things in a small amount of time instead of doing a little bit every day. as such, it appears that there are 7 days left until christmas comes around. now, i must confess that i don’t even have a list of people that i want to buy gifts for.

so here i am struggling a week before christmas trying to figure out who i want to buy gifts for. never-you-mind that i don’t have the slightest clue as to what i will get these people…i haven’t gotten there yet. i still need to figure out who i will get stuff for….then the REAL turmoil begins. what will i get them?

ugh.

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[url=http://quake.wr.usgs.gov/recenteqs/Quakes/nc40148607.htm]did you feel it?[/url] did you feel it? i haven’t felt an earthquake in a long time. this one was a baby one. there was a little shuddering but that’s about it. the interesting thing is that my office building is a brick building. if a big quake hits, i wonder how it’ll do.

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