i think my life is all about inertia.

whenever it starts to get cold i think that i tend to get lazy. i can’t help it. it’s cold outside and i don’t want to go out if i don’t absolutely have to. the problem with that last statement is that the condition “if i don’t absolutely have to” is very open to interpretation.

do i absolutely have to take the garbage out today?

do i absolutely have to get a haircut?

do i absolutely have to buy new shoes?

well, the answers to some of these questions are answered for me by external forces. my roommate is currently traveling so my tolerance for a mess in the apartment is greatly increased.

though my hair is unmanageably long now and i fear that there is the beginnings of a mullet forming on my once short and spiky head, i just haven’t had the opportunity to go out and get a haircut…well, i lie, i’ve had plenty of opportunity, but i haven’t done anything about it. and there’s no one really telling me that i need to get a haircut, really…

and shoes? well, it’s raining now and i think there’s a crack in my shoes which conveniently lets all of the rain into my shoe, so…it would seem, that yes, i do need to get shoes now. perhaps it is already too late, but there is nothing like the constant reminder of cold, wet feet in the office to motivate you to go and get new shoes.

so it does seem that my life is all about inertia. i like to do what i’m doing and kind of stay like that until something jars me from that.

some call my behavior laziness…i prefer to think of it as a delicate balance of priorities.

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remember the candy cigarettes that were really pieces of gum rolled up like cigarettes? they were then wrapped with paper and inside the paper was a little bit of flour or sugar or something so that when you blew out of the “cigarette” you would blow out a little puff of smoke? as a kid i used to think that that was so cool because i could then pretend to smoke, but not really. that inspired me to do all sorts of things like try to add more flour to my cigarette so i could smoke more…or i tried to even make my own cigarettes with other things. but i do remember thinking that that candy was cool, even if the gum wasn’t all that great. yeah, cool. cool to pretend that you are smoking so that you can pretend to develop emphysema, lung cancer, heart disease, yellow teeth, or premature aging. yeah… so… cool…

but after all of these years, i guess it must be the glamorization of smoking because i opened up my first pack of orbit gum (which i really like, by the way) and while opening the package i thought to myself, “wow, cool. it’s like a pack of cigarettes.”

and then i was like, “oh wait…i don’t smoke. i don’t like smoking.”

and then i was like, “oh, well…maybe that isn’t so cool after all.”

and then it reminded me of those candy cigarettes.
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