remember the candy cigarettes that were really pieces of gum rolled up like cigarettes? they were then wrapped with paper and inside the paper was a little bit of flour or sugar or something so that when you blew out of the “cigarette” you would blow out a little puff of smoke? as a kid i used to think that that was so cool because i could then pretend to smoke, but not really. that inspired me to do all sorts of things like try to add more flour to my cigarette so i could smoke more…or i tried to even make my own cigarettes with other things. but i do remember thinking that that candy was cool, even if the gum wasn’t all that great. yeah, cool. cool to pretend that you are smoking so that you can pretend to develop emphysema, lung cancer, heart disease, yellow teeth, or premature aging. yeah… so… cool…

but after all of these years, i guess it must be the glamorization of smoking because i opened up my first pack of orbit gum (which i really like, by the way) and while opening the package i thought to myself, “wow, cool. it’s like a pack of cigarettes.”

and then i was like, “oh wait…i don’t smoke. i don’t like smoking.”

and then i was like, “oh, well…maybe that isn’t so cool after all.”

and then it reminded me of those candy cigarettes.
—–