tonight is playoff night for my monday night team. we’re ranked 7th in the league so we’ve got a few games to play to go all the way. hopefully tonight will be an on night and we’ll do what needs to be done to take it all.

i’m sitting at the mission city coffee roasting company in santa clara a few hours before the game to rest a little before the game. the last thing i need is to be a little strung out from work. i’m having a rasberry mocha which is actually quite tasty. they also have free (though maybe not for long) wireless internet access. that’s always a treat. this cafe is pretty roomy, but it has a very college-like feel to it. sort of brings me back to the days of sitting at sufficient grounds in berkeley.

anyhow, i have not yet won a league championship with this team and i’m very anxious to get one under my belt. i don’t know why, but there definitely is some kind of gratification to winning the league. i guess it is because i haven’t played on a team where we’ve taken the championship yet so i feel like i’ve been playing all this time and it has always escaped me.

and having those moments where you just can’t seem get what you want is always troublesome. troublesome in the same way that water gets blocked up in your ear. you know that eventually it’ll probably come out, but until then you’re annoyed and impatient with the problem.

it reminds me of the time i was playing in a youth golf tournament. my dad was my caddy and i was doing pretty well for myself through the front nine. i had built up a pretty comfortable lead and it was supposed to be smooth sailing from here on out. and then tragedy struck. it was the 11th hole, i think, and i had shanked a drive into the rough. i didn’t know where my ball went and so my dad and i searched for it in the rough.

sadly, the ball could not be found so i had to declare a lost ball, drop another, and take the strokes. frustrated, my youth and impatience with myself started to sink in, and when i hit that second shot i sliced it so far to right that i swear i thought it was going to boomerang back and hit me in the ass.

but instead it veered off to the right, out of bounds, where i had to drop another ball and take more strokes. then i hit a tree. then i flubbed it. all in all, by the time that hole was done, my lead had evaporated and my mood had soured.

i don’t really remember much else about that tournament. i do remember that i did not place and i do remember that i had lost my cool. you see, the problem with golf is that it’s largely a mental game. sure, there’s the physical mechanics of swinging at the ball, but once you get that to a reasonable place, it’s the mental game that could kill you. and it beat me…and it beat me bad.

i think it was then that i learned a valuable lesson about life. my dad goes on and on about how golf is more than just a game…that it’s a reflection into yourself and how you deal with life. he’s got this whole zen-like philosophy about it which i used to think was just a bunch of garbage he tried to feed to me and pass off as a life lesson.

but what i learned that day was that how you deal with what life throws at you is going to affect how well you cope with the situation you are in. i let a setback hurt me pretty bad and it affected me through the rest of the day, ultimately resulting in failure. what i learned was that pessimism is more powerful than any hurdle that is thrown at you. what i learned was that optimism and the power of positive thinking aids you in keeping focus…and sometimes if you are thrown astray, you just need to take some time to realign yourself.

life isn’t going to be perfect. it isn’t going to a fairy tale. but whenever you feel like things aren’t quite the way you thought it would be, instead of just fretting and being distraught and just muddling through the days, you ought to just take a break, take a step away, and try to get perspective again.

so i’m taking a little time today to do just that. it’s been a bit of a frustrating day at work, i’ve been stuck on something that i’m not fond of, but hopefully i can just let it go and come into the rest of the evening with a clear mind.

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