i went to a pearl tea place today and sitting at one of the tables was this girl who i thought looked really cute reading harry potter. i sat across the way from her and stole a glance here or there.

it was only after a few minutes that she finally took her gaze away from the book and when i saw her face i was very unpleasantly surprised. she was not cute at all. i did a double take because i thought she was really cute so to be this surprised was…well surprising.

and then i remembered something that someone once told me about people and photography. everybody has at least one angle where they look amazing. it turns out that i was viewing her from that angle. =P

“so what’s going on in your personal life, anyway?”

it seems like such a simple question, but the answer is far more complex. what has been going on in the last many months of singlehood? i am not good at being single. i’m really not. i’m good at taking care of someone else and being care for. i’m good at coming home to someone’s welcoming arms and letting the troubles of the day melt away. i’m good at sharing the most trivial parts of my day with the only person that i care to share it with.

i am not good at pining away hoping that happiness will fall upon me. i’m not unhappy, mind you. i’ve got good friends, i quit a job that was making me miserable, and i’ve got my health. most of the things in my life seem to be pretty good…i’m pretty lucky.

still, from time to time, i do wonder about that other part of one’s life. you know, the part where you are just delirious because you’ve got that special someone who can, with just a simple look, light up your day. it’s good to be in love, it just seems hard to find it these days.

a few days ago, someone had something to me that made me really reexamine my thoughts on love and happiness. i used to believe that love is all you need. if you have love, all the other troubles will fade away and you’ll be left with the blissful joys that only love can inspire. but i’ve come to realize that love really isn’t enough. it seems almost absurd for me to say this, but it’s true.

love is fabulous and definitely a requirement for me to find happiness in a lasting relationship. i refuse to believe that one can be happy in a relationship without a genuine, all-consuming love that emboldens a happiness far greater than you could ever imagine. but i think that i’ve come to realize that that really isn’t enough. maybe it’s ridiculous for me to want so much out of my relationships, some say that if you are lucky enough to find that kind of true love you should count your lucky stars. perhaps that’s true, but i’m starting to realize that there’s a practicality to life that must also be considered.

true love is wonderful. if you have it, it should be cherished. but what about the logistics? what if the one you love doesn’t love you back (kristin kreuk, i’m still waiting for you)? what if the ony you love doesn’t have the same future goals as you do? what if you want different things out of life? what if one loves to travel, while the other hates to travel? what if one wants to spend their days out exploring the world while the other wants to stay at home and relax? if you have life view that differ diametrically, how can it possibly work out?

some say that this is where compromises are made, but there are some instances where there is just no room for compromise. these are the most trying of situations when it seems that all else appears perfect. despite how much one loves another, sometimes it just can’t work out.

i don’t know what it is that i do during the day, but it seems to just pass me by rather quickly. i don’t think that i have been doing anything terribly exciting, but people ask me now that i have some time off what i do. so let’s take a look at what i did today…

i went to los gatos today and visited sprockets hoping to get sponsorship finalized by the folks at sprockets, but the owner wasn’t in. i also stopped by dolce spazio and had some gelato. i was really surprised to find out that they didn’t really have very many flavors available. i was pretty disappointed.

i also went to surplus computers and resisted the urge to buy a bunch of useless stuff i don’t need and exchange something that i bought a little while ago. we’ll see if this works any better.

it is ridiculously hot right now. it was 98 degrees when i last checked. i can’t handle this kind of heat. i think i’m melting. i’m going to find some air conditioned cafe with free internet access and just chill out for a while until my dinner plans roll around.

all the while, the only thing that has been on my mind is that it is 98 degrees…why is it that i can’t think of a single song by the group?

i usually don’t like most photos taken of me and i usually don’t have photos taken of me, but here’s a rare one that i actually like.

i told myself that once i quit my job that i would make sure that i would go biking more often now that i have the time. i haven’t gone biking yet once, so i decided to go for a little ride today.

the heat beat down on me, but it was nice to get out of the apartment and be part of the real world. i’m trying really hard to be part of the real world every day. we’ll see if i can keep it up or not.

i originally planned an ambitious 22 mile ride going through coyote creek park and around the lake, but 2 miles into the ride, it was all that i could do not to turn back and call it a day.

so i modified my original plans and decided to bike to the park and then instead of biking into it, i’d just make a big loop back home. i originally scouted out a few pearl tea places that i could stop by on my 22 mile ride, but none of them were on the way back home. i had also planned on stopping by one of the random mexican places that must serve excellent food, but they, too, were not on the way back.

my bike ride was cut short quite a bit and i only did about 9 miles today. i was out for a little less than an hour and my average speed was 11mph. i think that i usually strive for no less than 10mph, so i guess all this time off from biking hasn’t hurt me too bad…of course, i was biking flat surfaces all day so i guess that isn’t too difficult of a pace to keep up.

that’s right, i was a designated girl for the vball tournament over the weekend. diana told me that she absolutely must have a picture of me in my girly wear.

people kept telling me that i should take my shirt off and just wear the top, but there is no way that i am going to have bikini tan lines. my farmer’s tan is bad enough. =P

it seems like the days have been packed lately. i’m not sure how it is that it has happened this way, but it seems like ever since i quit, my days have become more busy, not less busy. that being said, it seems that i’ve been away from the computer more as well.

this weekend was a pretty busy weekend. on saturday, jen, ivy, eric, and i went on a photo shoot for their engagement photos. we went to villa montalvo and hakone gardens. it was a decent shoot, i still have to look through all of the pictures.

sunday was a big day of volleyball fun and bbq’ing. we were matched up with a partner and each team of two coupled with another team of two to make a team of four. we kept rotating teams throughout the day and the team that had the highest number of points won wins the tournament. my team came in second.

this tournament didn’t have enough women in it so some of the guys had to play as girls. i was one of the teams where we had to play as a girl. to designate that we were playing as a girl, we had to wear bikini tops. i’m sure i have a picture of that somewhere…

it was a great weekend and i don’t know how it could have been any better.

i know this is probably about a month late, but i went wine tasting in sonoma a little while ago and took a few pictures with the throwaway camera. maybe that’s why i didn’t want to post the link to the images…i’m not really THAT ashamed of the throwaway camera. =P

i went to check out channel 104.9’s day on the meadow concert. it was pretty cool. though i don’t usually listen to channel 104.9, i liked a lot of the bands there. my friend christi’s brother was in one of the bands (bento that played there, so it was cool to check them out.

i have heard of a few songs by bowling for soup, but to see them perform was simply amazing. they were a wildly entertaining band and probably was the best performance of the day. i have definitely become a fan.

i took pictures with the canon 24-70/2.8 and my tamron 70-300/4-5.6. the difference in quality between the two lenses is astonishing. i really do need to get some pro level glass for my telephoto range.

this week was the first week of my freedom. no work to go to, nothing to do. it was great. i’ve been feeling rather tired lately and it’s been quite a relief that i’m able to lazy about and do nothing. the goal for today was to unload my car from weekend’s festivities. i only half finished that goal.

i guess i should back up and talk about the rather eventful last couple of days. friday was my last day at work. it was liberating to leave. there were a few sad goodbyes, but i was surprised that i didn’t get a call from the COO. i had thought that we had a better relationship than that, but it seems that that was not the case.

it’s strange how the days seem to pass by ever so slowly. i’ve been watching a lot of tv and have been about as lazy as i ever have been. it is truly fabulous. i think that i will start looking for work next week. it’s been nice to relax, but i can’t live like this forever…i may enjoy it too much and then i really will need to find a sugar momma.

life has been grand, though. i’ve been doing little things here and there that i’ve always wanted to do and i’m just about getting ready to start some mini-trips. i think that i’m going to go camping sometime, as soon as i figure out when i can make it. i want to go biking as well. i wonder if i can get anyone to come on out for that.

wednesdays were supposed to be spent playing volleyball in the park in fremont and thursdays are supposed to be spent playing volleyball in the park somewhere else. i tweaked my ankle a little bit so i’m not going to go play volleyball until tonight.

but freedom. wow. how liberating it feels.