while we all tread furiously to keep our head above water, we sometimes meet new challenges that seem to overwhelm us. when experiencing a new challenge for the first time, it definitely can seem like an insurmountable task. the pains that we go through the very first time can cut deeper than we’ve ever felt.

life is not kind. it is not mean or cruel, it just is. but when we encouter that rough spot for the first time, this flood of despair and pain overwhelms us in a way we’ve never felt before. it’s easy to become immediately cynical, bitter, and resentful of the world. it’s easy to be lost in the overwhelming sea of emotion.

we all come across these difficult times. i guess the only salvation one can have is knowing that regardless of how dark times may look now, others have tread in the same waters and have survived to find happiness themselves. if they have found their way, so shall you.

—–

all of us have a set of morals. these morals are derived from various experiences that we’ve had while growing up. our parents, our peers, our own experiences all make up the sum of our moral and value system.

i believe that some people have a predisposition towards some types of personalities. some people are big hams while others are inherently shy. this doesn’t mean that it always has to stay like that. our morals may change as we grow.

i believe that my mom contributed to a rather significant part of the person who i am today. she is a strongly moral pacifist. increasingly more and more i’m getting into situations where either i have to deal with confrontation or i am a direct witness of confrontation. let me just say that this is troubling for me.

i think that my mom has taught me, by example, that it is better to bite one’s tongue than to speak your mind. it is better to avoid confrontation instead of fighting it head on. it is better to take personal loss than to inconvenience others and it is better to avoid confrontation instead of getting yourself into potentially harmful confrontations.

the problem is that there is only a limit to which one can do this before you just have to say or do something. sometimes i wonder what other people do when they are faced with similar situations. do you just let it go?

confrontation. i think it is the natural tendency for people to avoid it. it’s easier to not deal with if you ignore it. weird how that kind of mentality could just lead to even more significant consequences than dealing with it from the beginning.

today is the worst day i’ve had so far this year.

in fact, it’s probably the worst day i’ve had in a long while. you know, when things go wrong, they seem to go wrong all at once. i’ve been particularly stressed out lately and i think that it’s finally having its lasting effects on me.

i just feel exhausted and it’s all i can do to get through the day. it seems that there’s a dark cloud hovering over me. it’s been like this for a while and i guess it’s about time that i start doing something about it.

there are bunch of [url=http://people.aol.com/people/news/now/0,10958,570224,00.html]reports[/url] claiming that britney got married last night. crazy as that sounds, it seems to be true. she married her childhood friend at vegas wearing jeans and a baseball cap. not exactly the glamourous wedding one would think a pop icon like britney would have, eh?

it also turns out that they are getting the marriage annulled and have signed the papers for it already. go figure.

what a bizarre world.

—–

happy new year!

it’s the start of a new year. in past years i’ve made resolutions that i didn’t keep and i think that this year i’m not even going to try. instead, i think that i will try to follow the one basic pursuit that i’ve been after for a while: the pursuit of happiness.

when it comes down to it, i think that finding that balance in happiness is what makes things worth it.

i hope all of you have a safe and happy new year.