[url=http://www.track15.com]dardy[/url] wrote about it the other day and i’ve heard about it from others, so i think that it’s a good time to write about it.
closure.
when a relationship is ended between two people, often times the only way you can really feel comfortable about the ending is if there is closure. closure comes in many forms, but most people are most familiar with the whole drawn out talking of why the relationship should end.
most people associate receiving closure in a relationship when they finally understand why the relationship ended. this understanding, however, may be quite difficult to ascertain. the break up is rarely a mutual thing. usually one person wants to end things while the other person doesn’t. it’s the person who doesn’t want to end things that has the most to lose…and they are also the ones who hold on the hardest to the idea that things can still be fixed.
some people find closure when it is explained to them what the other person is thinking. some people feel that they are owed an explanation and they can’t move on without this explanation. though it would be nice if we were told why things couldn’t work out and maybe make a case for how things could work out, the thing with relationships is that it isn’t about convincing people how you think. a relationship is a two way street and once one party gives up, no matter how hard the second party will try, it just doesn’t matter.
i think an indication of closure is when you realize that you won’t get back together with the person. that the chance of getting back together with that person just doesn’t exist. sure, you can blame yourself for all the things that you did wrong or all the things that you could have done, but placing blame isn’t really going to resolve things. you have to just learn to let go.