pain

when i woke up this morning, i was in an excrutiating amount of pain. it hurt bad. last night as i was playing volleyball, my left foot slipped under me and i rolled my ankle. it had swollen up to the size of my fist and it was rather frightening to see it like that.

it didn’t hurt as much last night, but this morning, i had every intention of going to the doctor’s office to get it checked out, but as i tried to get out of bed, the pain was overwhelming. it hurt so bad, that i wasn’t sure if i could even make it to the bathroom. i hobbled back quickly into bed after taking some tylenol and i’ve been bed-bound since.

the pain has subsided quite a bit, so i think i’m going to try and wash up and go to the doctor’s office now.

lighting equipment

i’m just about ready to order my lighting equipment for my camera. a couple of light stands and a couple of umbrellas should do the trick. i’m actually looking forward to playing with the new equipment. the question is…who will be my models? i’m going to have to push pretty hard for a few people to come and help me out. i’m also thinking about getting a cheap cloth background for a few solid backgrounds. maybe i should get a solid white sheet and a few gels too. hmmmm.

now i just have to wait for it to get a little warmer and we’ll be all set for some outdoor shooting. i’m very tempted to also get a reflector and a handy reflector holder. hmmmm.

closure

[url=http://www.track15.com]dardy[/url] wrote about it the other day and i’ve heard about it from others, so i think that it’s a good time to write about it.

closure.

when a relationship is ended between two people, often times the only way you can really feel comfortable about the ending is if there is closure. closure comes in many forms, but most people are most familiar with the whole drawn out talking of why the relationship should end.

most people associate receiving closure in a relationship when they finally understand why the relationship ended. this understanding, however, may be quite difficult to ascertain. the break up is rarely a mutual thing. usually one person wants to end things while the other person doesn’t. it’s the person who doesn’t want to end things that has the most to lose…and they are also the ones who hold on the hardest to the idea that things can still be fixed.

some people find closure when it is explained to them what the other person is thinking. some people feel that they are owed an explanation and they can’t move on without this explanation. though it would be nice if we were told why things couldn’t work out and maybe make a case for how things could work out, the thing with relationships is that it isn’t about convincing people how you think. a relationship is a two way street and once one party gives up, no matter how hard the second party will try, it just doesn’t matter.

i think an indication of closure is when you realize that you won’t get back together with the person. that the chance of getting back together with that person just doesn’t exist. sure, you can blame yourself for all the things that you did wrong or all the things that you could have done, but placing blame isn’t really going to resolve things. you have to just learn to let go.

sushi

last night i invited a few people over to have sushi with me. it was sooooo good. i haven’t had sushi for the longest time. i was afraid that i might not be able to find the right sushi that i want. it’s hard to find fresh sushi sometimes so it was good that i was able to.

i bumped into my friend maureen at ranch 99. it’s the funniest thing. we seem to bump into each other quite often there. small world, i suppose.

—–

mad world

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very, very
Mad world
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday

And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very, very
Mad world
Mad world

Enlarging your world
Mad world

—–

all the toys in the world

i like photography. it’s something that i enjoy and it’s something that i feel i’m pretty good at. i also like it because even though taking a photo is something anyone can do, it’s how you go about doing it that makes the big difference. it’s just like web pages. anybody can make a web page, but that doesn’t mean that your web page is going to be any good.

one of the things that i see about photographers (and i’m guilty of this too) is that once they get into the big world of SLRs, there are so many choices, options, and toys to have. what kind of camera body do you get? what kind of lenses do you get? what kind of lighting equipment do you get? what kind of studio equipment do you get? what other accessories do you get?

it’s endless, really. my friend, john, got me into the world of canon. in the world of digital photography, i think that there are two big players out there: nikon and canon. i guess i was convinced to go the canon route because i had a friend who was already a canon user and so we could share equipment…well, that and because canon had the first affordable (and i use that term loosely) digital camera body.

so anyway, since then, i’ve bought lenses, flashes, more bodies, and more accessories. i’ve made a few purchases that i regret, but i’m happy for the most part.

but whenever someone starts talking about getting new camera equipment, my eyes open wide with the whole world of possibilities that lay ahead. i don’t know why i have this reputation that i tell people to buy things that are way out of their budget. just because *I* happen to have spent a lot of money on camera gear doesn’t mean that i expect everyone else to. in fact, i REALLY hate those stuck up snobs at san jose camera who look down on everyone who doesn’t buy the best of the best. stupid camera snobs.

but what sort of alarms me is when people think that if they buy all of this crazy camera equipment that they will instantly take great pictures. that simply is not the case. it’s like the little boy who can’t shoot a basketball if his life depended on it who goes and buys all of the latest jerseys and shoes that his idols use because he thinks that if he gets all this stuff, he’ll be able to play like them. what happens, of course, is that he just looks really good at playing really bad.

but anyway, with camera gear, i’ve seen too many people spend too much money on things that they don’t appreciate or can’t use. or they will look down on other people who don’t have the best gear. i think it’s easy for lesser experienced people to believe that just because they don’t have the best gear that their pictures will suffer as a result. and that’s simply not true. just because you don’t have the best pictures doesn’t mean that you can’t take great pictures.

i once challenged a friend of mine (though he never took me up on it) to go out on some photo shoot and we’ll go and take pictures and compare the pictures. to make things fair, i said that i would even switch cameras with him so that he would have my crazy big camera and i’d have his point and shoot digital and i told him that i believe that i could still take good pictures with it.

it’s true that a nicer camera will give you better optically quality. it’s true that a nicer camera will give you better color reproduction, but i think that a good picture is one that is composed well and for that the camera doesn’t really matter.

usually i believe that it is the mark of an inexperienced photographer when they blame their equipment instead of them. maybe they are expecting too much from their equipment. maybe there are workarounds to it. that’s the nice thing about photography is that there are so many possibilities. but i think that some people blame their equipment much too soon for the fault of the pictures that come out of it. they think that they’ve outgrown their equipment when they really haven’t…they just haven’t grown.

just because you have all the toys in the world doesn’t mean that you’ll be the best at what you do.

—–

8GB CF

if that means anything to you:

SimpleTech has announced an 8GB Type II Compact Flash Card utilizing its patented IC Tower stacking technology. The card is insanely priced at $5,999.

according to [url=http://www.mobilemag.com/content/100/336/C2471/]mobile mag[/url]

crazy.

—–

girls suck

as it gets closer to valentine’s day, it’s usually fun to check out the [url=http://girls-suck.diaryland.com]girls suck[/url] web page. it’s comprised of 5 or so disenchanted guys who have been burned by women before…so basically like every other guy in the world.

“The only reminder of our love is the broken mirror you gave to me.”

ahhh, such wonderful nuggets of experience are spouted on this page all the time.

*sigh*

i had every intention of going to the [url=http://www.tow.com/photogallery/20040211_coba/]COBA[/url] meeting yesterday. i had my camera bag with me, my flashes, my diffuser, and well…just about everything.

but after i left work yesterday, i was so tired and so hungry that i decided to just go home. i didn’t want to cross a bridge to get to palo alto. i didn’t want to deal with the horrific traffic. i didn’t want to do any of that. no, instead, i wanted to go to sleep. and i wanted to go to sleep because i knew that i had to wake up extra early today to get to work.

but i wasn’t sleepy. so instead, i make rice krispy treats. i think i’ll make another batch when i get home tonight. they are pretty good and fairly popular at the office. i’m about halfway done with the batch that i made yesterday so maybe i can feed some of this to the poker crowd tonight.

speaking of which, i need to learn some new games for the evening!