it seems that poker night is dying out and i’m not really sure if the gang is really all that interested in hanging out. it seems that people have sort of moved on in their lives and we have all moved in our own directions. i’ve been trying to hang out with some people, but it does seem like everyone is pretty busy these days.

i do have a lot of work to do tonight, but i feel like going out, so i think that i’m going to go out for some bowling fun. i haven’t gone bowling in a long time, and though i don’t think that anyone else would want to go, i think i’m ok with that. i feel like bowling a few games by myself and just clear out my head. some alone time is always good too.

i haven’t blogged as much as i would have liked to the last couple of days because i’ve been in a pretty bad mood. ever since saturday night, i’ve been put into a bad mood and i’ve been trying ever since to get out. i didn’t really realize that i was in a bad mood until i started to realize that i was short-tempered with some people and someone asked me if i was annoyed.

i suppose that i have been pretty upset and i’ve just had a general annoyance with the world and have been taking it out on people. it’s weird because i feel pretty conflicted these days. sometimes i want to hang out with people so i don’t feel quite so alone, while other days i feel like i just want to be all by myself. it’s hard to really decide what i want to do when my moods are ping-ponging left and right.

but i have been trying to get myself in a better mood and i thought that the hike over the weekend and volleyball would put me in a better mood, but i’ve been grouchy the last several days. i’ve been trying hard not to show it or not to let on to other people, but it’s been hard and i guess a few people noticed.

oddly enough, my spirits were lifted slightly today when i decided that what i really needed was some retail therapy. so i decided to go and buy myself an early birthday present. hopefully it’ll arrive before my birthday, but we’ll see. otherwise i’ll have to wait a long while before i can play with my new toy. i don’t really have a good reason for getting it, either…except that i want it. but that’s what spoiling yourself is all about, right? just get what you want, even if it isn’t necessarily practical.

i hung out with my friend in the late afternoon and peppered a little bit and worked on setting. that was pretty fun too. i think that spending a little quality time with some friends is just what i need to lift my spirits again.

i was lamenting about the fact that i had lost a night of volleyball and the team that i had originally thought about putting together seemed to fall apart. but just as quickly as it seemed to fall apart, one of the guys from my sunday night team asked me if i wanted to join his team on tuesday night. so it looks like i will be joining them and playing on tuesday nights again. hopefully it’ll be fun, we’ll see.

it’s strange how life works out sometimes. it’s been a pretty difficult couple of weeks and sometimes i think that it’s just easier to not do anything and just wallow at home waiting for the world to just hand me a better plate, but i’ve never really been much of the passive type. it just seems like such a lazy, whiny way to wish life would work for you. i guess i prefer to take control of my life and be more proactive.

i’m weak. i can’t help it. i went to krispy kreme today with the full intention of getting a dozen donuts, but somehow i managed to leave the store with 2 dozen.

there’s the daily double dozen special where you can get 2 dozen donuts for a mere $12. how weak am i?

the sad part is that i’ve only eaten 2 donuts today. what am i going to do with all of these donuts??

i used to be a big erasure. huge. i remember back in high school and when called me up the night before the release of the i say, i say, i say album and told me that a certain CD store had it on sale at midnight or something and we just HAD to go and get it.

so we did.

that was probably the last great erasure album i bought. ever since then, it’s been a bit of a disappointment. maybe cowboy was ok, i did go to that concert, but i don’t know…something about erasure these days that doesn’t really excite me.

but i did not know that the new erasure album nightbird was out until warren mentioned it on his blog. i quickly decided to check out the album and i’ve finished listening to it once and so far, i’m pretty unimpressed. i’m going to give it another listen now, but so far, no good.

there’s a new chinese restaurant near work called The Tea Station Restaurant. i walked in there, ordered food, and when they asked me if i wanted to drink something i asked them if they had milk tea.

they said no.

i thought that was odd.

this weekend, i met up with my old boss. we got caught up on each other’s lives and remininisced about the good old days. it was really good to be able to catch up with him and see how everything was going.

we then waxed philosophy about various things: career, dating, the future…you know, that sort of thing. and it was strange because even though i was looking for it from him, i had found great consolation in my conversation with him. some parts of the conversation made me sad, but overall, it was uplifting.

it’s interesting where one finds comfort in trying times, though. sometimes you need not seek it, it will just find you.

hello? hello? is this thing on?