i’m not sure why it was so hard for me to get out of bed today. i didn’t stay up too late. i didn’t forget to set my alarm. i didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, but today i was contemplating sleeping in and getting into work 3 hours later than i usually do.

“it’d be ok,” i thought to myself as i snuggled under the warmth of my blanket.

but then it guilt finally struck and i started to get up and get ready for the day. now, several hours later, i’ve gotten a fair bit of work done and i’m pretty happy with the results, so i guess it all works out for the best. i’m going to costco today to get some food for a bbq tomorrow and i think that i may consider making pot roast tonight. mmmmm. pot roast.

but definitely some kind of meat. mmmmm. meat.

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this last weekend was a bit of a liberation for me. i think that i’ve been feeling down the past few weeks, but i’m starting to notice something that’s turning things around. i think part of it had to do with dealing with some of the troubles that i’ve been avoiding for all this time. and in avoiding those issues, i started to create new ones. i started to feel burdened with all of the weight of the previous problems piling on top of me.

but this last weekend lifted those things from my shoulders. it was a little unpleasant at first and difficult to do, but i’m feeling much better these days. now, if only i wasn’t so busy at work, i might be able to take advantage of this and go do something fun.

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With or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live with or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied – my body bruised
She’s got me with nothing to win
And nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live with or without you

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i’m sort of bummed about this weekend and sort of happy about it. conflicted, i guess, best describes this weekend. the westwide vegas volleyball tournament is this weekend and i was supposed to go to it with some volleyball friends. but instead, because of circumstances out of my control, i’m unable to go and play anymore. part of it is because my ankle is still not 100% and i guess that’s reason enough for me not to go.

but still, i was really looking forward to it. all year. and i won’t be able to hang out with charlowe who i haven’t seen since forever, too. major bummer.

to offset that, i’ve actually got potentially two photo shoots this weekend. pretty crazy stuff, i’m not sure what the theme will be, but i’m sure that it’ll be fun. i’m also going to go to shirley’s bbq of eclectic food. i’m still not sure what eclectic food i will bring, though i’m now leaning towards miso salmon. hrmmmmmm.

i also want to spend some time on sunday making some good food. i’m thinking pot roast. mmmm, that would really hit the spot.

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