i hate reporting

i hate writing reporting code. data handling and manipulation just isn’t fun. i want to create something beautiful, something functional, something useful. and i guess i don’t find reports all that fun.

but i think i have just constructed the longest SQL query i have ever written. there has got to be a simpler way to do what i’m doing. i’m updating some code that was previously written and the code that was written before uses all of these temporary tables and it got all confusing for me. i’m sure that it’s probably easier to join against these temporary tables and views, but i decided to wrap it all in one big query. sure, it spans a couple of databases but it all works.

a 1568 byte query. 24 lines long. one query. sheesh, this is why i hate reporting.

door to door cologne salesman

after getting lunch yesterday i was approached by a young guy probably in his late teens to early 20s. now, mind you, we’re in a parking lot of a restaurant and he’s trolling around and approaches me.

him: hi, do you like to smell good?
me: (freaking out a little that this was the start of a bad pick-up line) …
him: (whipping out a box of something or another) because if you do, wouldn’t you like to smell good with some cologne?
me: (relieved that he isn’t picking up on me) uh, no thanks.
him: how come? you don’t want to smell good?
me: not really.
him: everybody wants to smell good! don’t you want to get with the ladies?
me: i’m married.
him: don’t you want to get with the lady?
me: haha, no thanks.
him: alright, man, have a good one.

i know that back in the day there were door to door salesmen. i’m sure that kids have fundraisers and they sell cookies or chocolates or candy or something, but cologne?? man, what a weird world we live in.