a long time ago, whenever a girl would talk to me, i would clam up, stutter for words, and generally try to get out of that uncomfortable situation because i never knew what to do or say. sometimes there would be long gaps of silence, sometimes i would just blurt out the most stupid and inane things, but sometimes i’d just act creepy.
i was reminded of this when i read cindy’s post about competition when it comes to getting one’s affections. i’m not sure why, but i think the last time i felt like i had to compete for someone else’s attention and affection was back when i had general issues talking to women in general.
what i have found to be true for myself is that i am most comfortable being myself. far too often i see people who become fake and just ooze this kind of artificial superficiality to try and impress someone else. why do people do it? i also see people play games with others, trying to interest other parties by playing hard to get or by making them feel jealous. i feel that all of these tactics are immature.
why would you want to entice someone to get to know you by such means? i guess it is one thing if these tactics are the general way in which you pursue your life goals, but if you only use such means in the dating realm, one has to ask yourself, “why?”
i have always been a sucker for genuine honesty. for example, in beauty and the geek, brittany exudes this kind of genuine honesty that really endears me to her. she doesn’t put up false pretenses about what she thinks or who she is. she just says what she believes, without pretentions or ulterior motives. after she had found out she was doing a photo shoot, she comments to her partner, “oh. it’s too bad that i didn’t wear my good bra.” depending on how that is said, one could think that that could have been a very teasing or playful comment, but she said it matter of factly. it really was just a shame to her.
the point i’m trying to make, though, is that when it comes to someone that you love, if you feel like you are always competing for their attention, you have to wonder why it is that you have to compete for their attention to begin with. that isn’t to say that you shouldn’t try to get to know each other better, but if i am ever in a situation where i feel like i have to compete for some girl’s attention, that is a big deterrent for me. it isn’t so much about winning or losing out on their attention as much as it is that if i am really into a girl, i want them to be just as interested in me. if it is a one-sided relationship that we share, then maybe it just isn’t that great of a match to begin with.
it really should be as easy as, “hey, i like you. let’s hang out.”
what, it’s that easy??? i had no idea! i thought it’s supopsed to be super difficult, like it has been for me. =) i don’t know if i could handle easy.
you and dardy are the same. you both feel like dating has to be this monumental uphill, both ways kind of a fight because then you feel like once you do get what you want, it was well fought for and means something.
i still don’t believe it is supposed to be that hard. good things don’t have to be hard to obtain. in fact, one might argue that the best things are easy because they just work out.
*cry*
hehe. i’ve been called out!
yes, i used to believe that you had to *fight* for love, that it involved climbing huge mountains and overcoming all odds. that way, you feel like you earned it, and victory is all the more sweeter.
i’m not sure what i believe now, though. i’ve been out of the game for so long that i don’t know how it would think. i know that i can still be a drama queen, though, so maybe i’m the same? *shrug*
people play games for many reasons, one being that they have low self-esteem and two that they watch too much tv. women are constantly bombarded with messages that what they are is not good enough. so they play games, dumb themselves down, whatever to compensate. the whole thing is sad.
btw, i really like brittany as well. she’s so endearing with her cute voice. i hope they win. although i like cher’s feistyness as well.
i really like josh a lot more than joe. i think that brittany is sweet and she really endears herself to me, but i like how cher is a real go-getter. i think that joe is kind of creepy sometimes with brittany, but the dynamic that cher and josh share is one that seems pretty genuine.
did you see that scene where joe put his around around brittany in the car when they were driving from place to place and brittany looks over her shoulder like, “what was THAT??” and then joe quickly moves his arm away. the guy is sleeze!
and the best scene ever was when cher tackled josh after they had won the challenge.
Uh, WHO watches too much TV now? Well, at least you’re not a drama queen, Wilco.
i totally agree with you that if you like someone..then it’s as easy as “i like you. wanna sleep with me kinda thing.” (jk). i don’t like those dating games either, but i feel that there should be a little flirting and teasing here and there. the same goes if you’re in a relationship (just to make it more interesting and exciting).
hehe oh you’re so funny, watching beauty and the geek…. *cough cough* but i’ve never seen it!
my fiance and i when we first started dating it was literally…
hey i like you
yeah, i like you too
ok let’s date….
ok!
lol so i guess some of us are still like that! 😉