today is tuesday. though many people believe that mondays are the worst, i would like to nominate tuesdays as the worst day of the week.

monday – yes, you have to start the week again. go to school, work, or whatever other obligation you have.

wednesday – it’s hump day. how bad can it be? you’re getting over the hump and there’s salvation soon.

thursday – friday is only a day away. it can’t possibly be too bad for much longer.

friday – joyous days are here again!

but tuesday…what do you have to foward to on a tuesday? nothing, really. the painful memory of monday still burns in your head, there’s nothing exciting to look forward to the next day, and worst of all, tuesdays just seem to drag on because there’s no end in sight.

yeah, tuesdays are probably the worst day of the week.

but then again, if you ask me tomorrow what the worst day of the week is, i bet i’d tell you wednesday.

man…i really have to stop living for the weekends.

it’s been a long and painful day today. i’ve been doing a lot of tedious work adding a new templating system into my project. the existing template engine (if you can call it that) sucked and it was just becoming too much of a hassle to try and maintain the site. so, i’m ripping out all sorts of things and adding all sorts of other things to this project and all of this HTML work is driving me insane. such tedious work…

*sigh*

it has been a long time since i’ve gotten pearl tea while in oakland, so i think that i will take a little break of sorts and go fetch myself a pearl tea drink. mmmmm.

the problem with pearl tea drinks for me, lately, is that i just can’t seem to finish them anymore. they just don’t give me the kind of joy that they used to. sad, isn’t it?

actually, what’s even more sad is that i’m debating right now if i should walk there or drive there…

it’s just…so…far…

i haven’t been feeling well lately. it’s been touch and go, but i just haven’t really felt like myself now for the last week and a half. i’m not sure what’s going on. there are times when i’m feeling just fine, but then there are other times when i’m feeling downright awful.

now is a good time, so i’m trying to be as productive as i can while i’m still feeling well.

this week looks to be quite the busy week. i’m trying to see if i can squeeze in some extra time to do some things that i want to fit in this week, but it looks like it is going to be a tight fit.

i missed volleyball last night because i wasn’t feeling very well. there are only a few more weeks left in the season. i wonder if i should rejoin JACL for next season…

—–

i don’t understand how people deal with rain. actually, i don’t understand how people can live in areas where it rains more months of the year than it is sunny. that truly boggles my mind. well, if you think about it, i’m sure it’d boggle yours too.

yes, yes, i’m quite the california weather snob. i can’t help it. i’ve lived in california for almost my entire life. the longest stretch i’ve been out of california was when i was on my month long road trip. but aside from that i’ve been in california pretty much my whole life. now, sure, i’ve visited all sorts of places around the world, but i cannot say that i’ve been any happier than when i’ve been somewhere in california.

but the biggest mystery to me is how people walk in the rain with their umbrellas. i have a rather large umbrella, and i like to think of myself as a rather average-sized person. so when i walk around in the rain with my umbrella, i just don’t get how people can walk around without getting wet. my jeans were soaked on the walk from the parking lot to the office today and it was a rather unpleasant morning until i dried off.

what’s the deal? what am i missing? do i need an even larger umbrella?

i haven’t been feeling well. yesterday i stayed at home sick to my stomach and today has been really touch and go. i really regret having the large sandwich that i had for lunch. i think it was a little premature to have eaten such a meal when i’ve been having stomach problems.

but i was really hungry and i couldn’t help it. i needed to eat something solid. why is it that when we want something, even if we know that it is bad for us, we still yearn for it?

it’s sort of like the bad boy syndrome for girls. they know that it isn’t good for them, yet time and time again, many women will go for the bad boy type, even if they know it’s bad for them. or there are others still that stay with their significant other when they know that it isn’t good for them, but they stay anyway. i guess what our heart wants and what our minds tell us will always be in conflict.

i was supposed to go biking this weekend, but due to problems with my poor, aching body, i decided to bail out. it turns out that while on a bike ride, one of my friend’s friend took a bad spill and had to go to the emergency room and get 13 stitches on their knee.

man…that’s painful.

it does make me wonder if biking is really the sport for me. it seems that there’s so much potential for injury…

speaking of injuries, i played volleyball on sunday without my brace. i was sliding all over the court and the ankle felt fine. i wonder if i can continue to play without the brace support. i think that it may be good enough where i don’t need the extra support from the brace. that’s a bit of good news.

one of the players came to me yesterday and asked if i was putting together another team. i am trying to find another team to put together, but i think that i’m short another girl for this team. i think that i’ve got three guys lined up so far, so all i need is another girl and a guy and i’m set.

—–

i had a really bad night’s sleep last night. as a result, i stayed in bed extra late today because i just couldn’t function when i first woke up. i just couldn’t get out of bed. so it’s going to be a long day for me at work today. i don’t know if this is something that i can handle very well. we’ll see.

it’s surprising what a difference a night of sleep can make. i don’t know why, but i was really tired yesterday during the day and i took a nap after the niners game, which was kind of depressing. they started off well…

now it’s monday and i’m just trying to get through the day…

—–

there are some of us who are weighed down with the weight of the world. i remember back a long time ago when i used to fret, lament, and bemoan over every little thing in the world. i used to worry about things that were out of my control. i used to be concerned over details to things that had no relevance to my life…but worse yet, i would obsess over all the potential things that could happen to me.

for a time i lived in a world of fear. fear of what the future may hold, fear of what could happen. i would doubt myself and how i might handle certain situations. most of the time it really amounted to nothing. all of the worrying was for naught. my biggest fears never came up, and the things that i did obsess about weren’t as bad as i had thought that they were once i got through it.

i remember back in high school i had a lot of anxiety about my math notebook. it was completely unorderly, messy, and missing pages. i had a lot of anxiety about it because we had to turn in our notes for a grade. i dreaded the day that i would have to turn it in and see what kind of grade i would get.

sure enough, after i did turn it in, it was left to be graded, i got it back, and got some comments about how to improve it. i didn’t get a good grade either, but after it was all said and done it wasn’t as bad as i had thought. and when i think back to those times i realize that all of that worrying really didn’t help the situation, it just made my quality of life much worse.

there was this other time when i was dating this girl and i would dread having to talk to her. i would avoid her, i would try to make sure to call her at times she’d be unavailable, and i’d pretty much do whatever i could so that we wouldn’t talk. not exactly the shining example of maturity there…but it was inevitable that if we were to talk, we would fight, and i figured that it was better to not talk and not fight than to talk and fight. the biggest problem was that we never were really any good at problem resolution. i didn’t want to deal with the problem to find an agreeable answer and she didn’t want to compromise. in our own ways we were both stubborn and unempathetic to the other.

well, this caused no end of grief for me and i spent my days living in denial, fear, or anger at the situation. the problem was that i just ended up worrying about everything and didn’t move to get any resolution to anything.

some would call this the burden of life. some would argue that life is full of neverending struggle in the pursuit of perfection. i think the way i see things now is that i can choose to be difficult and not try to proactively better my quality of life if i want to. that is a choice. i can choose to live in denial and not accept reality. that is my perogative. but if i make these choices, i cannot blame anyone else but myself.

perfection is a nice ideal. it’s something that many people strive for. these days, i think that i’m rather comfortable with the idea that the world is not perfect. there are injustices out there and it’s a shame, but we can’t cry foul about how messed up things are and just do nothing about it. everyone does have a choice to try and better their own life. it’s just a matter of making the effort to try and improve your life however it is that you can.

i don’t consider the challenges that i have in my life as a burden of life. it’s just life. you roll with the punches, try and make the best of what you’ve got and push through it.

i recently had a conversation with a friend who seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. perhaps part of it is a growing process. perhaps realizing that the way the world works is not perfect is a difficult pill to swallow. i remember the shiny-eyed boy that i was when i started working at my first job, earning a life for myself for the first time. i remember being shocked at how different the real world is compared to that of the school life that i had. i don’t remember the moment when my vision of utopia came crashing down on me and i was left with reality, but i do know that it is how we handle this transition that defines us.

some of us choose to continue live in denial. others of us choose to push through our ideals and do our best. there’s been a lot of talk about how disappointed people are about the results of the election. i’m disappointed too. but that’s life. it isn’t the end of the world. it’s now a question of what do we do from here?

this pearl tea shop first piqued my interest a while ago when it opened and it had a refreshing change of pearl tea. it’s more tea-heavy than the usual places i frequent, so i liked going here from time to time. but consistently i’ve been disappointed with the cold temperature at this place. they leave the doors open, and in this winter air it can get rather chilly in there.

but that isn’t what frustrates me about the place. what really pisses me off to no end is that they levy an electricity plug-in charge of $1 an hour. now, it doesn’t really cost all that much, and they do offer FREE wireless internet, however, the fact that they are petty enough to charge for electricity outrages me.

i mean, if you are going to give away free internet access, why on earth would you charge for electricity? no other place i know of charges for such a service. i guess if you consider it more like an internet service charge, then it’s pretty reasonable, but still…very disappointing…and annoying.