things you should say

i was talking to a friend and we were talking about what one should say and what one should not say to others. i believe that there are things that one should say, not because they necessarily believe it, but because there are moral implications that need to be considered.

for example, i have told a friend that they should find marriage as an exciting prospect. i have told them that they should find happiness in their future. it could very well be the case that i don’t believe that these things are going to happen, but instead of telling them negatively what i think could happen, i tell them what i think should happen.

yes, sometimes it’s great to be direct to find out what’s going on and what people really think, but sometimes it may not be appropriate or appreciated. if that’s the case, is biting your tongue the best option?

One thought on “things you should say”

  1. That’s when you rely on your life experience and common sense to employ discretion and tact. You of all people should have nothing to worry about. I tend to feel people out in each situation to see how much “honesty” they can handle and are asking for, then I go a step or two more subtle than that. If they’re interested in more brutal honesty, they will direct the conversation that way and you can give out a little more as you go; if they don’t steer the conversation there, they’re just interested in venting or they just want to hear reassurance from you and are not interested in a discussion about the merits of their decision. Sorry for the verbosity; that’s just my two (or three) cents. ­čÖé

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