i’ve been trying very hard not to write about anything at work until i leave the company. let’s just say that it has been quite an exercise in self-restraint. =P

but this is the last week of my employ here and then i will not have any more 50 miles each way commutes to deal with. i think it will be absolutely fabulous.

i went to eat at TGI’s sushi, one of my favorite sushi places in the bay area. our waitress had a name tag that read “jeremy”. at first i was a little surprised to see the name and so i must have been staring at it to see how else one might be able to pronounce that name.

the waitress took notice that i was staring at her chest (but i was looking at her name tag, i swear!) and walked away. i didn’t realize that she noticed my obvious staring and so when she came again, i was staring at her name tag (which happened to be pinned on her chest) and then i caught her eye staring at me staring at her chest.

i realized what she must have been thinking and so i asked rather embarassed, “is jeremy your real name?” she smiled and said, “yes.” and walked away.

i really hope she didn’t think i was staring at her chest. =P

i thought of dardy when this happened to me earlier last week.

i went to the company bathroom and was disgusted to find that somebody had not flushed the toilet and there was toilet paper floating in the bowl. i flushed the toilet to discard the previous user’s leftovers and it was then that time seemed to stop.

we, as humans, are creatures of habit. after being conditioned for decades to expect certain things, when they don’t happen you sometimes just don’t know what to do.

i experienced one of these moments when after flushing the toilet, instead of the water level going down, i saw that the water was rising at a rather alarming rate.

everything seemed to slow down after that. i could hear my heart beating ever so slowly.

*beat*

my eyes widened with a horror that could only be eclipsed at the thought of what would happen if the water actually gushed out and splashed all over me. (mind you, i was wearing my “tight” jeans that day…to have to have backed up toilet water on my jeans is frightening enough, but to have them on my “tight” jeans…it was more than i could bear.)

*beat*

i tried for a split second to will the water back down the pipes. no such luck.

*beat*

the water looked like it was going to overflow. i felt powerless. what could i do? what was hiding under that toilet paper already in the bowl? why was this happening to me?

*beat, beat*

in the corner of my eye i saw a plunger. i grabbed it and started to plunge, taking care not to splash any water on myself.

*beat*

whatever was clogging up the pipes must have finally broken free because the water level was quickly draining down the pipes and suddenly it appeared that i would be saved from a potentially horrific experience.

man, going to the restroom should not be this hard.