i thought of dardy when this happened to me earlier last week.

i went to the company bathroom and was disgusted to find that somebody had not flushed the toilet and there was toilet paper floating in the bowl. i flushed the toilet to discard the previous user’s leftovers and it was then that time seemed to stop.

we, as humans, are creatures of habit. after being conditioned for decades to expect certain things, when they don’t happen you sometimes just don’t know what to do.

i experienced one of these moments when after flushing the toilet, instead of the water level going down, i saw that the water was rising at a rather alarming rate.

everything seemed to slow down after that. i could hear my heart beating ever so slowly.

*beat*

my eyes widened with a horror that could only be eclipsed at the thought of what would happen if the water actually gushed out and splashed all over me. (mind you, i was wearing my “tight” jeans that day…to have to have backed up toilet water on my jeans is frightening enough, but to have them on my “tight” jeans…it was more than i could bear.)

*beat*

i tried for a split second to will the water back down the pipes. no such luck.

*beat*

the water looked like it was going to overflow. i felt powerless. what could i do? what was hiding under that toilet paper already in the bowl? why was this happening to me?

*beat, beat*

in the corner of my eye i saw a plunger. i grabbed it and started to plunge, taking care not to splash any water on myself.

*beat*

whatever was clogging up the pipes must have finally broken free because the water level was quickly draining down the pipes and suddenly it appeared that i would be saved from a potentially horrific experience.

man, going to the restroom should not be this hard.