have you ever looked back at a time in your life and wondered…”woah, what was i thinking back then?”

such examples of this can be found through various moments in my life. there was a time in my life when i really wanted to get my ear pierced. i thought it was the coolest thing and a great form of rebellion. now that i think back to it, i wonder what it was that i was rebelling against and why i wanted to rebel so much. back then i think it was a rebellion against my parents, but these days i think that i find myself striving to be more like them than anything else.

there was another time in my life where i was seriously considering moving to sacramento and starting up a new life there. i think a lot of that was motivated by a recent break up and general discontentment with my life. i think about what my life would have been like if i were in sac now…and all that i can think of at the moment is…much, much hotter.

but i also think about past relationships i’ve been in. i think that i’ve changed quite a bit since the first girl that i’ve dated. in my very early relationships, i was the kind of person who wanted to be told what to do. i was the kind of person who needed someone to take care of me…almost to the point of thinking for me. basically, i was whipped…and then some.

it’s been a slow evolution since. i think that the kind of girl that i want to date has changed quite a bit too. i used to really like the strong, mean types. i thought that they could take care of me and anything that may come my way. since then, i think my type has changed to a softer, gentler type. i think that the kind of girl that works best for me is someone who inspires others to want to spend time with them. it’s the kind of friendliness that is just inherent in their being.

it’s interesting to look back at yourself from time to time (oooh, i almost forgot my hair dyeing phase) and sort of laugh at yourself for some of the things you’ve done and then try to remember why it was that you were like that.