[url=http://www.track15.com]dardy[/url] and i were chatting a little about relationships (what else?) and some of the pitfalls that people seem to fall in when it comes to seemingly destructive relationships. why is it that so many people continue to stay in relationships that seem to destructive in nature? why is it that so many people continue to stay in relationships that just don’t seem to make sense?
i asked him if he knew that a girl had a lot of issues, would it dissuade him from pursuing something with him. intellectually, people generally know if someone is not good for them, yet they still seem to end up dating the person. why is that? he said that it would probably really deter him from pursuing something…unless she was fabulously sexy or sassy or something. so really, so long as the girl is attractive to you in some form, recognizing these other issues doesn’t seem to really stop one from pining over them.
and then i asked, can you have a crush over someone who you know possesses qualities about them that are deal breakers in relationships. usually if you recognize that someone has qualities about them that are not desirable in terms of a relationship, one would just close the door on them, right? but instead, he told me that thought it might make sense not to pursue them, some may consider these people as projects. they may think that they could change the person and mold them into the person that they want them to be. ah, to date a project.
it made me think about whether or not i’ve dated someone and considered them a project. i don’t think that i ever have. i don’t really believe in changing other people and molding them into whatever idea of perfection that i have. it is far too much work to try and change people like that and i don’t think that i would appreciate someone else trying to change me either.
usually if i meet someone and i realize that they have one of the few deal breakers, i immediately get turned off and don’t think of them in any kind of romantic way. why bother? i will admit though that there have been girls who i’ve met who i started to get interested in only to find that they do have one of the deal breakers and then it was very hard for me to let those feelings go. but i figure you can’t pine over something that you ultimately don’t want…it just can’t end well.
but it seems to be that in a lot of relationships logic, reason, and commonsense seems to go out the window and instead we employ the far more dangerous guide of our hearts to lead us to our destiny. odd in a way, but for me, i’d have it no other way.