diana convinced me to go out bar hopping with some of the vball crew. i was pretty reluctant because it’s thursday and i just am not in the mood. but we went bar hopping throughout san jose’s bars…who knew that there was such an active nightlife here in san jose?

we went to club deep, blue monkey, and the vault. i had all my drinks at deep, and tonight was probably more than i usually drink. am i drinking my sorrows away? i don’t know.

a part of me felt good about getting out instead of sulking at home, but while i was out and about, my thoughts drifted and there were pangs of sadness felt throughout the night. maybe it’s too soon for me to be going out. i did have a few laughs and the company was great, but there was still a part of me that just didn’t feel right. i guess i had to find out if this was the time for me or not.

i think that i’ll probably spend a few more quiet nights by myself though. there’s still some stuff that i just need to sort out before i think i can really let myself go.