self censorship

you know, part of having an online presence is that anyone at any time has access to your life. you are putting yourself out there and it’s really your own fault for putting whatever you do online for the world to see.

what i write about, what people see is only a small fraction of what is really going on. as bloggers, we draw our own lines as to what we feel comfortable sharing with the world and what things we keep private. when it comes to certain things, i find that i generally am more private than others, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

but i’m going to deviate a little tonight because i need to vent. i’ve been bottling up everything that i’ve been feeling hoping that it can be masked or put away, but instead it’s like a dam under pressure, waiting to burst. so tonight i write without filters, dropping my guard, and just letting it all go.

Continue reading self censorship


i had this dream last night that i was in bed spooning someone. i didn’t know who it was, but the feeling of having someone there in bed while i slept felt comforting and safe. something woke me up from my dream and when i woke up and saw that i was indeed alone and it made me a little sad.

maybe that’s what i need to find: a spooning buddy.

stuck on a feeling

currently on rotation on my mp3 player is a little REM/PSB spin:

rem – low
rem – bang and blame
rem – try not to breathe
rem – everybody hurts
rem – nightswimming
rem – i don’t sleep, i dream
rem – strange currencies
pet shop boys – can you forgive her
pet shop boys – nervously
pet shop boys – to face the truth
pet shop boys – to speak is a sin
pet shop boys – jealousy
pet shop boys – london
pet shop boys – home and dry
pet shop boys – in denial
pet shop boys – i get along
pet shop boys – love is a catastrophe

delicious lunch

i had a very good chile relleno today for lunch. if i don’t start to get some decent sleep soon, i’m not sure if i will be able to function very well. i’m exhausted today from another night of bad sleep and i’m just barely able to stay awake. i think that i’m going to have to take a break soon and head over to starbucks to get myself a little boost. though the chantico is very tempting, i think i will need something with a little bit more kick in it to help me make it through the day.

i decided to get a double rasberry mocha. we’ll see how that treats me.