“so what’s going on in your personal life, anyway?”
it seems like such a simple question, but the answer is far more complex. what has been going on in the last many months of singlehood? i am not good at being single. i’m really not. i’m good at taking care of someone else and being care for. i’m good at coming home to someone’s welcoming arms and letting the troubles of the day melt away. i’m good at sharing the most trivial parts of my day with the only person that i care to share it with.
i am not good at pining away hoping that happiness will fall upon me. i’m not unhappy, mind you. i’ve got good friends, i quit a job that was making me miserable, and i’ve got my health. most of the things in my life seem to be pretty good…i’m pretty lucky.
still, from time to time, i do wonder about that other part of one’s life. you know, the part where you are just delirious because you’ve got that special someone who can, with just a simple look, light up your day. it’s good to be in love, it just seems hard to find it these days.
a few days ago, someone had something to me that made me really reexamine my thoughts on love and happiness. i used to believe that love is all you need. if you have love, all the other troubles will fade away and you’ll be left with the blissful joys that only love can inspire. but i’ve come to realize that love really isn’t enough. it seems almost absurd for me to say this, but it’s true.
love is fabulous and definitely a requirement for me to find happiness in a lasting relationship. i refuse to believe that one can be happy in a relationship without a genuine, all-consuming love that emboldens a happiness far greater than you could ever imagine. but i think that i’ve come to realize that that really isn’t enough. maybe it’s ridiculous for me to want so much out of my relationships, some say that if you are lucky enough to find that kind of true love you should count your lucky stars. perhaps that’s true, but i’m starting to realize that there’s a practicality to life that must also be considered.
true love is wonderful. if you have it, it should be cherished. but what about the logistics? what if the one you love doesn’t love you back (kristin kreuk, i’m still waiting for you)? what if the ony you love doesn’t have the same future goals as you do? what if you want different things out of life? what if one loves to travel, while the other hates to travel? what if one wants to spend their days out exploring the world while the other wants to stay at home and relax? if you have life view that differ diametrically, how can it possibly work out?
some say that this is where compromises are made, but there are some instances where there is just no room for compromise. these are the most trying of situations when it seems that all else appears perfect. despite how much one loves another, sometimes it just can’t work out.