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it’s official. [url=http://www.mars.com]mars, inc.[/url] is out to kill me. sure, they call their GIANT 3 pound bag of chocolate mix heaven “fun sized”. uh huh. suuuure. fun size, eh? let me tell you something. snickers, m&m’s, and twix put together in a giant bag is just brilliant. let me make sure that that point was made adequately.

complete. genius.

i have this sweet tooth. it’s undeniable. i have a particular weakness for donuts, but my sweet tooth is not limited to just that. no, it has far greater aspirations. i was walking around safeway when i stumbled upon this display of halloween candy. usually i’m able to stay away from these types of impulse buys, but when i saw this combination of candy, all sense, reason, and logic had left my body and in its place was an uncontrollable need to acquire this bag of candy.

and so what first started off as a simple errand became this inner struggle between my increasingly unsuccessful attempts to maintain a healthy diet and splurging on the joy that is a twix bar. i walked away from the display. surely, if i could walk away, i wouldn’t be tempted to get the bag, right? i went to pick up the other things on my list and on my way to the cash register something happened. even today, a day after the purchase, i still don’t know what it was that had come over me. but i was drawn to the candy display and though i could hear myself thinking that this was not a good idea, i could not stop my hands from snatching up this bag of pure delight.

i casually went to the register and laid out my items for purchase. the bag of chocolate joy was beckoning me to fulfill its chocolate destiny. how could i possibly refuse? it would be criminal to not help it fulfill its destiny. and who i am to stand in the way of destiny?

so, an hour and 1/4th of a pound later, i started to feel rather guilty about how i’ve been having so much “fun.” i guess you can’t win them all, eh?