everybody deals with personal grief in their own ways. for some, when the going gets tough, they run. i used to run. i used to run away from any and all of my troubles, hoping that it would just go away if i avoided them long enough. but these days, it seems like the way in which i deal with harder times is by closing my heart to the issue.
recently, i’ve gone through some pretty tough times, and there have been many times where i feel like i’m not equipped to handle it. sometimes i just completely break down and there’s nothing i can do to regain my composure but to let it run its course and hope that it will end soon.
i think that i just close my heart, let the pain that it has suffered dwell in its own private misery and hope that after enough time has passed that it will heal on its own. it used to be that i used to wear my heart on my sleeve. it was obvious how i felt, what was going on with me, and there was just no question about it. i guess these days, i feel like i just can’t go on lamenting about my issues. it does no one else any good, and it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better.
sometimes talking about all the inner turmoil that’s brewing inside you just doesn’t do any good. all it does is agitate an already painful situation and then i’m left off worse than where i started off from.
i’ve been trying to figure out how to deal. do i surround myself with friends who can be there to comfort me? do i hermit myself away from the world? do i go wild and party it up and escape from the pain of it all?
i don’t know. i don’t know to deal, i guess i just have to figure it out.