it’s been a rollercoaster of emotion the last few weeks. sometimes it’s hard to even remember where i was, what i was thinking, or why i’m doing it. i miss you. i do. i wish that we could go back to some happy place where everything was fine, but we have long since crossed that bridge.
each day seemed to be getting better than the day before, but there was the occassional stumbling block. seeing that you’ve removed me from your friendster friends, the scattered emails from you, and a few voicemails have thrown me a few times, but for the most part it’s been a steady journey to a better place.
last night’s unexpected shipment suprised me, and when i had realized what had happened, i rushed out into the rain looking for you. i searched around the corner, in the lot, and around the way, but you had already disappeared. maybe my courage was short in its existence, but the heart that i’ve been trying to grow cold over these last few weeks melted, if not for a little while.
the road to recovery feels long and unending, but i do see an end. i just wanted to say that though my actions may seem contrary, i still do think of you fondly and thank you.