one of the things that i really NEED at any place that i work at is to be able to respect my manager. i need to work for competent people because if i don’t have that, i don’t have the desire to work.

it is so nice to wake up leisurely, stay up late at night, and just not have to worry about incompetence. it’s nice to not have to constantly check in to make sure that everyone is on the same page only to find out that despite your greatest efforts, you still end up feeling screwed. it’s nice not to have to constantly be disappointed.

it’s been so nice that i haven’t started looking for work yet. everyone keeps asking me if i have, but i don’t think that i’m ready yet. i think i’ll start looking for work next month. i really would like to pursue something more photography-related, though. maybe this’ll be my chance.

twenty is the number of boxers that i can cram into the washer. i’ve been doing laundry like a madman. i think i did about 6 loads today and it looks like i’ve got about half of my dirty clothes cleaned out. it’s getting ridiculous! i don’t know what’s going on, but it’s just craziness, i tell you. simply crazy. i also tidied up my room and cleaned out the grill and the coolers from the weekend.

i found out that i have enough white shirts to do about 4 loads of whites. i have enough red/orange clothes to do an entire load of just reds and oranges. i think i have enough baby blue clothes to do a load of baby blue too. i guess this goes to show what colors i have strong preferences towards. maybe it’s time to try something new. i don’t think i own anything yellow…man, i have a lot of clothes.

looks like i’ve been doing a lot of cleaning lately. this usually means that i’ve got a lot on my mind. i wonder what has been eating away at me recently.

i’m sitting here at tapioca express and checking out the free wireless they offer. this location is new and very close to my apartment. it’s decent.

it turns out that i stopped reading the harry potter series after the third book. i’m not sure why. my roommate got the new harry potter book and is furiously reading through it now. she has inspired me to pick up where i left off and i am currently reading the 4th book. i’m about 150 pages into it and it’s been a pleasant read so far.

everywhere i go i see people reading the new harry potter book, though. i guess the craze still lives strong. the funny thing is that i haven’t seen any kids reading the book, only adults.

one of the things that i’ve become terribly obsessive about recently is yahoo music’s launchcast. there used to be this radio station called emusic or something where they would give you money for listening to their music. if you rate songs, the quality of the songs that they will choose for you to listen to gets better. with yahoo music, they will give playlists custom made to your preferences and so i’m now going through as many songs as i can so that the station will be closer to what i like.

but the thing that really drives me to keep rating songs is that they have these ratings level where the number of ratings that you have will put you in different levels.

Rating Master: > 10,000 total ratings
Addict: 5,000-10,000 total ratings
Fanatic: 1,000-5,000 total ratings
Trendsetter: 500-1,000 total ratings
Enthusiast: 250-500 total ratings
Listener: 100-250 total ratings
Newbie: <100 total ratings

i’m currently a trendsetter, but i want to be an addict. i figure i can be an addict by week’s end if i am diligent.

man, so this is what retired life feels like, huh?

the last several days can only be described as crazy. it’s strange that it seems like i have so much to write about, but i don’t feel very compelled to write about anything.

people have been asking me how it feels to not work and i tell them that i feel like i’ve still been busy every day and i haven’t really relaxed yet.

i think one of the hesitations that i’ve had is that i don’t really want to write too much about some of the things i’m excited about because i don’t want to spend too much time being excited about it. i guess it’s a self-defense mechanism of sorts. i’ve been trying hard not to get my hopes too high about certain aspects of my life. disappointment is hard to take these days, so i guess by not trying to think too much about it, i’m trying to save myself from any unnecessary hurt. that being said, i think that i will be wildly bold soon. we’ll see what comes of it.

i’ve been toying with the idea of pursuing a degree in photography. i’ve said before that i would never go back to school, but i think that photography is something that i’m pretty passionate about and i think it could be something that i would have a lot of fun with, even if it means going back to school. i’m excited.

two more weddings next month and then i think i’ll be free of wedding for this year. i’m shooting at both, it’s been a busy summer for me. i’m slowly working on my portfolio, too. i think that i may try and design some business cards too. when people ask me what i do, instead of saying that i’m temporarily independently wealthy or searching for a sugar mama, i can tell people that i’m a freelance photographer. yeah…ummm, that’s the ticket.

let me tell you, planning a volleyball tournament is a lot more work than i expected it to be. the hardest part of planning a volleyball tournament is trying to find people who will sponsor your tournament. i suppose that this can be true for anything. finding people who will give you money for anything is just hard.

hi. i’m mike. will you give me free money? no? please? still no? oh well, thanks anyway.

i went to a pearl tea place today and sitting at one of the tables was this girl who i thought looked really cute reading harry potter. i sat across the way from her and stole a glance here or there.

it was only after a few minutes that she finally took her gaze away from the book and when i saw her face i was very unpleasantly surprised. she was not cute at all. i did a double take because i thought she was really cute so to be this surprised was…well surprising.

and then i remembered something that someone once told me about people and photography. everybody has at least one angle where they look amazing. it turns out that i was viewing her from that angle. =P

“so what’s going on in your personal life, anyway?”

it seems like such a simple question, but the answer is far more complex. what has been going on in the last many months of singlehood? i am not good at being single. i’m really not. i’m good at taking care of someone else and being care for. i’m good at coming home to someone’s welcoming arms and letting the troubles of the day melt away. i’m good at sharing the most trivial parts of my day with the only person that i care to share it with.

i am not good at pining away hoping that happiness will fall upon me. i’m not unhappy, mind you. i’ve got good friends, i quit a job that was making me miserable, and i’ve got my health. most of the things in my life seem to be pretty good…i’m pretty lucky.

still, from time to time, i do wonder about that other part of one’s life. you know, the part where you are just delirious because you’ve got that special someone who can, with just a simple look, light up your day. it’s good to be in love, it just seems hard to find it these days.

a few days ago, someone had something to me that made me really reexamine my thoughts on love and happiness. i used to believe that love is all you need. if you have love, all the other troubles will fade away and you’ll be left with the blissful joys that only love can inspire. but i’ve come to realize that love really isn’t enough. it seems almost absurd for me to say this, but it’s true.

love is fabulous and definitely a requirement for me to find happiness in a lasting relationship. i refuse to believe that one can be happy in a relationship without a genuine, all-consuming love that emboldens a happiness far greater than you could ever imagine. but i think that i’ve come to realize that that really isn’t enough. maybe it’s ridiculous for me to want so much out of my relationships, some say that if you are lucky enough to find that kind of true love you should count your lucky stars. perhaps that’s true, but i’m starting to realize that there’s a practicality to life that must also be considered.

true love is wonderful. if you have it, it should be cherished. but what about the logistics? what if the one you love doesn’t love you back (kristin kreuk, i’m still waiting for you)? what if the ony you love doesn’t have the same future goals as you do? what if you want different things out of life? what if one loves to travel, while the other hates to travel? what if one wants to spend their days out exploring the world while the other wants to stay at home and relax? if you have life view that differ diametrically, how can it possibly work out?

some say that this is where compromises are made, but there are some instances where there is just no room for compromise. these are the most trying of situations when it seems that all else appears perfect. despite how much one loves another, sometimes it just can’t work out.

i don’t know what it is that i do during the day, but it seems to just pass me by rather quickly. i don’t think that i have been doing anything terribly exciting, but people ask me now that i have some time off what i do. so let’s take a look at what i did today…

i went to los gatos today and visited sprockets hoping to get sponsorship finalized by the folks at sprockets, but the owner wasn’t in. i also stopped by dolce spazio and had some gelato. i was really surprised to find out that they didn’t really have very many flavors available. i was pretty disappointed.

i also went to surplus computers and resisted the urge to buy a bunch of useless stuff i don’t need and exchange something that i bought a little while ago. we’ll see if this works any better.

it is ridiculously hot right now. it was 98 degrees when i last checked. i can’t handle this kind of heat. i think i’m melting. i’m going to find some air conditioned cafe with free internet access and just chill out for a while until my dinner plans roll around.

all the while, the only thing that has been on my mind is that it is 98 degrees…why is it that i can’t think of a single song by the group?