i really ought to be sleeping right now. instead, i find myself wide awake sitting on my bed waiting to get sleepy. that’s what it’s been like lately. i’ve been waiting to get sleepy. the clock slowly ticks its course and before i know it, it’s past 2AM again. it’s usually around 2:30 that i panic and i force myself to close my eyes and think sleepy thoughts.

usually i fall quickly asleep after i make the effort to go to sleep, but somehow that doesn’t seem quite right to me. i remember a time when i would go to sleep because i was sleepy and i couldn’t take it anymore.

this may be a sign that i need new reading material at night. i cannot read more than 10 minutes into any book before i promptly fall asleep. i wonder why that is. i wonder if i have some kind of reading disability. i usually tend to lose interest in whatever i’m reading pretty quickly. or maybe i’ m just lazy. that is completely possible.

i had dinner with jimmy tonight and watched him play a little bit before the urge to play myself overcame me. i really wasn’t planning to play tonight and i played awful, but still, there is some satisfaction of going out and doing something instead of sitting at home waiting for life to happen. i am still trying to figure out what my thursday night activity should be, though. with poker nights gone, the week seems so empty.