just got a dozen egg tarts.

i wonder how long they will last.

buy two, get one free at ruby king in oakland.

or 3 for $1.

or 12 for $4.

i don’t know why i didn’t get 15.

must wait until at least after lunch to eat them…

really.

—–

“do me a favor and don’t get drunk one night and start making out with someone and use the alcohol as an excuse, ok?”

this is the advice i got from a friend when i was pining away over this girl that i was crushing over. when she first said that to me i was in a bit of shock. do i seem like the type that could liquor up a girl just to make out with her? and really, if we’re going to make that stretch why won’t we go the extra mile and really take advantage of her? sheesh. =P

[url=http://leafee.ocliw.com/]leeya[/url] recently writes about some of the deal breakers and the essential ingredients in a relationship. i would tend to agree with her that there are definitely deal breakers, lines that one cross, that once done can never be undone.

one of the biggest deal breakers for me is infidelity. if you were to kiss another person that’s grounds for an immediate break up. but there are other gray areas when it comes to infidelity. for example, there’s emotional cheating as well. if you share some kind of intimacy with another person that you are unwilling to share with me…that’s going to be a problem.

but leeya also rattles off a list of other essential ingredients necessary in a relationship.

“For me a mature loving relationship also requires honesty, trust, faithfulness, understanding, support and respect…love is not all you need.”

and this is where i violently disagree. yes, those virtues are important, but i guess i take a much simpler view about relationships. for me, love IS all you need. if you share a true love with another person then everything else slowly starts to melt away. call me a romantic, but if you truly love another person then all of the qualities of a successful relationship are born out of that love. you will obviously be honest and true and faithful and understanding and supportive and whatever else because you are driven to do all of these things because you love the other person.

i believe so strongly in love, that if you have a love so true, so pure, and so undeniably strong that everything else is just a formality. it’s implied that everything will work out if you truly love another because every breath that you take will be for that other person.

finding such a love is not an easy task, nor do i believe that it is common. but you know, you only need to find it once in your life and then you are set for life.

there was a girl who i dated for many, many years. i had loved her like i had loved no other. i thought that the love that we shared is what inspired the greek comedies, cheesy love songs, and romance novels. i thought that our love was so pure, so strong, that nothing could get in our way. maybe it was my naivete, maybe it was just because we were so young that we didn’t know what we had…or maybe i was just wrong. but after all those years of dating it didn’t work out. we broke up.

after that i was devastated. my belief in love was shattered. i thought that it was all a big crock. what is this thing called love? it’s a big sham. something that somebody made up to give lonely people hope. i was bitter, jaded, and angry.

it took me a long time to realize that whatever we had, our love was not strong enough to overcome the obstacles that we faced. it wasn’t so much a matter of whether or not i was attentive enough or that she was faithful enough or anything else. what it really boiled down to what that whatever bond of love that we had, it just wasn’t strong enough for us to stay together. we didn’t have the tools necessary to fix our relationship and we weren’t willing to try to do so. we were just ill-equipped.

it took me a long time to believe in love again. i started to believe that i had lost my only opportunity and that now i was destined to a life of lonely misery. it was a dark time for me.

but love did find me again. and it filled my heart with its joyous song. i had been converted again and my belief in it has never wavered since. see, the thing about love is that it inspires you to be greater than you are. i don’t believe that love should ever die in a relationship. because once the love is gone…what is left? a commitment? an obligation? what’s the point? why bother?

to me it doesn’t really matter if you have all these other qualities in a relationship, if i’m in a loveless relationship it means that it wasn’t meant to be. it means that there’s something wrong. how can you stray so far from what brought you together? and if you have strayed that far, why bother to continue to live diverging lives?

are all of these romantic notions of love unrealistic? i don’t think so. i choose to believe in love. and i believe that love is all you need.

is this why i’m still single? =P