a friend sent me this [url=http://www.psychologytoday.com/htdocs/prod/PTOArticle/pto-20040301-000001.asp]article on marriage[/url].
it’s a bit of a long read, but basically this article talks about how as a society we may be asking too much out of our potential partners. that we may be asking to find the perfect soulmate and if the person doesn’t live up to their expectations then marriages dissolve. they then suggest that maybe, just maybe we should really just find someone who is ok enough to marry and not have such high and lofty expectations. they later go on to say that marriage is more about working with each other than it is about finding the perfect person.
my first reaction to the article was one of violent disagreement. i do not think that anyone should settle for any less than their soulmate. i think that a soulmate is essential to find if you want a happy, successful marriage. i think the difference is that i do not think that your soulmate has to be perfect in every regard. i do not believe that your soulmate has to fit all of these criteria that you think is your perfect spouse. no, i think that a soulmate is someone who is perfect for you.
A committed relationship allows you to drop pretenses and seductions, expose your weaknesses, be yourself—and know that you will be loved, warts and all. “A real relationship is the collision of my humanity and yours, in all its joy and limitations,†says Real.
i think that a successful relationship is one where you accept each other as they are and from there grows the bond of a true love.
What? You mean my husband isn’t perfect? Boy I’ve been lied to for almost an entire year (Sept 6).!!! 😛 Just kidding.. I think marriage is a wonderful thing and I believe that each couple’s definition of a ‘soulmate’ differs.
Two people have to truly accept each other and understand one another to the utter depths of who they are. This is easier said than done. Often times, we’re caught up in the excitement and blindness of love, and we’re quick to think that everything about the relationship and the person is perfect. When the dust settles and everything is real, then and only then can relationships be truly tested.
Nothing in life is perfect especially people. Every person grows and changes and a relationship will grow and change with them. Although soulmate doesn’t seem quite right… for lack of a better word…. Someone [i]becomes[/i] your soulmate. They just don’t [i]exist[/i] out there ready to be discovered. Every couple starts on a common ground, but both have to want the same things, not just from each other but from life. If you don’t want the same things, you have to agree and accept that it is the case. Truly accept it.
But despite all this, there are no hard fast rules. All you can do is enter with the hope of finding happiness and love, but acknowledge that you may not find it.