i don’t. really, i just don’t want to talk about it yet. i don’t know if i ever will really want to talk about it, but maybe there’ll be a day where i’ll be ok with talking about it.

what i sometimes find strange for myself is that i don’t really like talking about things that really bother me on an emotional level to anyone. there are a very select few that i’m comfortable talking to about anything, but they are far and few.

when i do talk about things that bother me, i think that it just ends up bothering me even more. usually it’s because i’ve already thought of all the angles and talking to someone else just doesn’t really help. instead it just dredges up all the pain all over again without making things better. i guess i just don’t find it useful.

but i do complain about things from time to time. in some ways, just venting about stuff makes me feel better about it. even if no resolution has come out of it, venting about it makes it a little bit more tolerable for me.

i remember this one time when i was with a bunch of accountant friends and they all got together one evening and started a HUGE bitchfest about their jobs. bitch bitch bitch. all night long they would go on and on about how awful their jobs were and how messed up this or that was. at the end of the evening, i was a little scared of these friends. who knew what they said about me when they were in a bad mood behind my back! but at the end of the evening, i think that they all felt better about things just being able to vent about it.

maybe that’s just the way to make sure that things don’t get bottled up in you. just vent it out.