i think that i’m now regretting the 7 scoop ice cream root beer float. that’s a lot of ice cream…and a lot of root beer. oh man, i think i need to lie down.

—–

there is approximately 4 gallons of ice cream in the freezer at work leftover from yesterday’s celebration. let us first all pause while we full appreciate the joy with which i am engaged in as i chronicle this fact.

4 gallons of ice cream.

we have root beer in the building.

yes, folks…root beer.

i’m currently sitting next to a 7 scoop root beer float and let me just say that this kind of decadence should be treasured by anyone who has the luxury of indulging in such gluttony.

now, go ahead, carry on with what you were doing before.

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i got two phone calls yesterday that meant a great deal to me. the first was from a friend whose voice i have not heard in a while. it was great to be able to chat with them again. it wasn’t so much that we talked about things of earth-shattering importance, but just the witty banter that we had was rather pleasant. i missed talking to them.

i miss good banter. i remember when i would liken the conversations that i had with certain people to that of the conversations that dawson and joey would have. they have such an engaging, quirky dynamic that it was always entertaining to listen to them talk. and i got some of that yesterday. it was nice.

the second call i got was from a concerned friend who wanted to make sure that i was ok. i’m not sure what spurred the check in call, but it was very sweet of her to call and check in. sometimes the warm fuzzies can come from such a small gesture, but it can move mountains.

they were good calls and i’m thankful for having such good friends.

—–

last night as i was sitting on my bed, leg propped up and for the first time in a long while i felt incredibly alone. i think that when i hurt my knee it reminded me of the time when i had sprained my ankle.

i’m a pretty fiercely independent person, so it’s hard for me to rely on other people. maybe it’s all of the years of my parents teaching me to be self-sufficient and that if you aren’t it’s a sign of weakness. maybe it’s because they’ve ingrained in me the sorts of ideas of what a man should be…the silent warrior type. i don’t know, maybe my parents wanted me to be a samurai.

whatever the case may be, last night, i was sitting on my bed in the dark feeling rather lonely. no one was there to kiss my boo boo and make it better. no one was there to ask me if i was okay. no one was there to cuddle up next to and fall asleep, forgetting the pain that throbbed tirelessly in my knee. nope. and it made me sad because all this time i think that i felt that i was pretty happy and doing just fine until the moment that i actually needed someone.

the moment came and went and i’m fine now…but there was a pang of loneliness and a reminder of how wonderful love can be and how much i miss it when it’s gone.

it sort of made me think if there was anyone out there that i would pursue a relationship with. i haven’t really thought too actively about it until very recently and i think that i came up with there not really being an opportunity available. gone are the days that i’d be longing a relationship so much that i may end up dating someone who i wouldn’t under other circumstances. gone are the days where i feel incomplete because i don’t have a significant other. i don’t need to be in a relationship, i just like being in them with the right person.

and that’s what it boils down to: trying to find the right person. i think that i’m finally in a phase in my life where i’m able to start looking again.

so don’t be shy, love, come to my door and find me. i’m looking for ya too!

—–

me: i think i hurt my knee.
friend: how’d you do that?
me: i was trying to avoid landing on this girl who dove in front of me
me: and landed funny on my knee
friend: was she cute?
me: not horribly.
friend: oh…then just land on her!

heh.

—–

after the big volleyball fiasco of monday night, i decided to sub for a team that needed another player tonight. at least i get to play a little this week. but my back has been killing me. killing me. not sure at all what’s going on here, but man, it hurts.

i’m not so sure what this team’ll be like. i’m hoping that they’ll be cool.

we’ll see.

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