t-minus x…

i cannot believe that it has been over three years since i’ve seen jenny. all these years and we’ve still been able to keep in touch. i wonder how she has changed since she’s made the big move over to NYC.

i’ll be on my flight in less than 6 hours. the flight is going to be intolerably long, but this will also be my first trip to new york. i am really concerned about whether or not i am going too light with camera gear, but i just can’t bring everything with me. i’ve decided to try and go light, but i broke down and am packing two lenses with me.

i guess that’s not so light.

jamba juice

i walked into jamba juice yesterday and ordered a drink. when the cashier asked for my name, i told him, “josiah.”

he goes, “oh, cool! we were going to name my nephew josia.”

a little surprised, i said, “oh really?”

“yeah, josia is the black man’s joseph, you know?”

i thought that was hilarious!


i’m going on a mini-vacation to NYC. i’m flying out tonight, actually. this on the heels of the news story about the jetblue flight that took off in LA, circled around and performed an emergency landing because the landing gear got stuck sideway shortly after they took off. the plane was headed out to NYC, and jetblue is the airline i’m flying. =P

i don’t think it has really set in yet that i’m going to be flying out to NYC. as such, i haven’t really gotten as excited as i think i would be.

many years back i went to visit portland and one of the main reasons i went there was to check out cameraworld. while in new york, i think i am going to go visit b&h camera. =P

i know, i know. camera stores are not attractions. for most people, anyway, but i can’t help it. i’ve got some time to spare and i think that it would be fun to check out. it’s too bad that there’s nothing that i really want right now, but i’m sure i can find something if i try REALLY hard.

how different we’ve become

it used to be that you and me…we were so alike. we liked the same things, we thought the same way, we saw the same things in life as important. how is it that we’ve changed so much?

a long time ago you and i shared the same ideas about life, love, and everything. we had the same outlook on life, the kind of cheery optimism that perhaps only youth could provide. we had the same ideals about love, what love means, what we want from love, and what love is all about. and when it came to everything else, it seemed that we were step for step in line.

but now…

now we have grown so far apart, it amazes me that we once were so similar. have i just not grown up? is it that i’m still living in this kind of naivete and it is ignornance that is keeping up this facade?

i look at you, the things you do, the things that are important to you, and i see that we are just so different now. so very different…

i refuse to give up on my ideals. i refuse to believe that what i’ve wanted all my life are now things that i need to give up on and make compromises. i refuse to believe that everything that i’ve believed in, everything that i’ve hoped for, everything that i’ve dreamed for is unobtainable. i refuse to give up.

and that’s what i think you’ve done. the sadness that sweeps over me when i think about how much you’ve changed, how much you’ve given up, and how much we’re different hit me hard today. i’m sad because i had hoped for so much more for you. i’m sad because it makes me wonder if you had given up on all of these things, if you of all people, who once i thought was so much like me, then i wonder if maybe these dreams i have are really just pipe dreams.

i refuse to believe that. you are the one that changed. you are the one that gave up. sometimes i feel like i’m just holding out, waiting for the impossible to happen. sometimes i feel like i’m alone, searching for what i’ve always wanted, but never really able to get it. sometimes i feel just a little defeated. today, i saw what happens when you give up. i’m just not ready to give up.

mrs. fields

i was at the mall late last night and i was walking past the mrs. fields store. the worker there was calling out their last hour sale. buy 4 cookies, get 4 free.

i wasn’t planning on buying any cookies. really, i wasn’t.

but i ended up with 8 cookies when i left the mall.

i am so weak.

the spice islands

dardy, mia, leeya and i went to the spice islands in mountain view off hope and castro last night.

when i asked dardy if he had ever been there before, he said that he did and it sucked! i as a little concerned, but i have eaten there once before a long, long time ago and didn’t recall it sucking.

we ordered a bunch of dishes and the food was pretty good. i don’t know how the restaurant survives because it doesn’t look like anyone dines in there, but the food was pretty good and i will be back there again. dardy had even said that he has changed his mind about the place and that he’d go again.

he did, however, refuse to order anything for fear of ordering something bad again. =P

i went to tea era after dinner to discover that they were CLOSED! it’s a good thing that i had already had pearl tea earlier in the day. but still, i was really looking forward to having some of that barley milk tea.

begonia festival

begonia festival

a few weekends ago i went to the begonia festival in capitola. one of the many things that they had at the festival was a sand castle making contest along the beach. it was pretty cool to check out. many of the sand sculptures were alarmingly close to the water and they had to build sand walls to keep the crashing waves from breaking into their sculptures. some of the sculptures didn’t survive the waves.

maybe next year i will make an entry into the sand sculpture contest. what would i ever make?

can’t hold out

i didn’t know how much longer i could hold out, but it seemed like an eternity since i ate my last donut. i broke down and stopped by the donut store on the way to work today.

i usually only order one donut, but because it has been so long since i’ve eaten a good donut, i ordered three.

i’ve only eaten one donut so far, but i indulged and got a custard filled maple bar. mmmmm.

i am so weak.

a long time ago

after reading the x-gf’s latest entry about a memory long past, it made me recall something from my past.

i was at the bart station, ready to drop off my girlfriend. she was not prepared to leave the car and did not want me to go. i had made plans weeks in advance that evening to go watch a depeche mode concert with some friends. she was not interested in going.

she was insistent that we spend more time together, to talk some things through. the tickets that i had for the concert were back at home, i had to go home first, pick them up, and give them to my friends who were going with me.

she made an ultimatum: stay with her or go to the concert and leave her forever. there were many times in that relationship where she made me choose her or my friends.

it was the last depeche mode concert ever worth going to.

but i had decided to stay with her.

i called my friends and told them where the tickets were, to pick them up, and i would try to meet them later if i could.

i never did.

hindsight always gives you such a wonderful perspective. i learned a lesson from that day. ultimatums are just not good and if i ever get into a situation where someone has to lay down that kind of an ultimatum, it makes you really think about what led you down to that path.

weekend of fun

this weekend came and went pretty weekend. it was a long weekend and there was a lot that i did. i don’t know how i managed to fit it all, but it was good fun. i have so many photos to post, i’ve been backlogged. maybe later tonight i will sit down and start posting everything.

on saturday morning, i went to berkeley early to watch cal play illinois. before the game we went to eat at steve’s bbq. i haven’t been to steve’s in a long time. the prices seem like they’ve been raised since i last went, but the food was pretty good.

the game started off a little rocky, but it once things got going, it was much better. greg borrowed my camera and looked at some pictures that i had taken. he took some pictures and said the kind of pictures i take and the kind of pictures he takes are very different. he ended up taking pictures of the cheerleaders. =P

sunday was a pretty good day, i woke up early to go to ella’s not-so-surprise birthday party at the park. she had alreadys suspected that something was up, but it was still good. after that i went to coach at JACL and then there was league. lots of volleyball that day, i’m kind of sore right now.

now it’s back to the grind on monday.